So, we started "The Schedule" today. Was this what I wanted? Not sure, but it is the eventual product of divorce.
The day started with me getting the boys up, getting them to eat some breakfast, then dressed, and into the car. The drive to Allston wasn't too bad - got to use the HOV lane on the Southeast Expressway so we passed all of the traffic that was backed up in the other lanes. The boys watched the first half of "Toy Story" on the DVD.
We got to the new daycare and I was stuck right at the start. I was never told what the security code was on the outside door to get into the building so I had to wait about five minutes until another parent showed up. Once inside, Leo showed me where his cubby was (as he had had 2 intro visits with his mother the last couple of weeks). Then I dropped him off with his new teacher and took Daniel down to his classroom. Daniel was great - I stayed for about a half hour with him (filling out paperwork that their mother was supposed to have already completed) and I just watched him go from activity to activity and get introduced to his new classmates. He was having a great time! So then I went to check on Leo - this wasn't so good. He just wanted to hold on to me - then he wanted to go to Daniel's classroom. I took him down to see Daniel, then had to carry him back to his class as he wouldn't go himself. One of the teachers finally helped me and got Leo to stop crying so he could give me a hug and I could leave. I got to the car and cried.
Finally got to work and sent an e-mail to their mother to let her know how the dropoff went. It was good that it was a very busy day at the office so I didn't have time to think much about the boys. It was also nice to be able to leave at the end of the day whenever I wanted and not be tied to a train schedule. The drive home was easy - stopped at the grocery store, then arrived home - to an empty house. And the house is very quiet without the boys here.
So, this is how it is going to be, half of every week, and every other weekend. I'll give the boys a phone call tomorrow night - let them be with their mother tonight as they adjust to her place. Then I'll see them Thursday night for dinner - then they are back with their mother for the weekend.
I guess this is going to take some getting used to.
Showing posts with label schedule. Show all posts
Showing posts with label schedule. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
Reasonable
So, what is reasonable? I guess that depends on the circumstances . . .
I thought we had an agreed-to schedule but then the other day she said she had some 'changes' she wanted to talk to me about. She gave me a calendar printout for the month of September where she had filled in her name for every Monday thru Friday and mine for every Saturday and Sunday. However, that wasn't our agreement as our 50-50 arrangement was for half the week, each week, and alternating weekends. She said this would be a 'transition' for the kids into both a new daycare and a new home (hers). I told her this was not acceptable. I wanted to be part of the kids' experience in their new school as well and that unless she had some other good reasons to do anything different, we would stick with the shared parenting plan we had already agreed to.
Then, the other day, she gives me a revised September calendar. This one had the first two weeks with her having the kids M-F, then shifting to the agreed-to plan. I said, "No, I want to be there for them during their first week at school." She argued that she thought it was best for them to be close to her and to stay at her place during the first week. I disagreed and said she didn't understand my feelings about what I thought was best for them - and that was for them to share their new experience with both their mother and father. She said, "What are you going to do about it?" I replied that we would follow the already agreed-to plan. She said that no, we would follow her new plan. We went back and forth a few times and finally I said, "Look, if I need to get our attorneys involved to resolve this, then that's what I'll do." She replied, "Bring it on."
Later that afternoon my attorney sent her attorney a motion to the court for us to follow the agreed-to plan, which immediately got her attorney's attention - and he said there was no need for a court motion - he would talk to her and have her follow the plan. She, of course, was beside herself.
However, last night, she was much more reasonable. We had an hour long talk about what we thought would be best for the kids and we came up with a compromise. If she had just been reasonable from the start and told me why she wanted a different schedule instead of demanding it be changed, we would have more easily resolved the issue. I'm not sure whether it was her attorney's influence or what, but we were at last able to come to a resolution.
I thought we had an agreed-to schedule but then the other day she said she had some 'changes' she wanted to talk to me about. She gave me a calendar printout for the month of September where she had filled in her name for every Monday thru Friday and mine for every Saturday and Sunday. However, that wasn't our agreement as our 50-50 arrangement was for half the week, each week, and alternating weekends. She said this would be a 'transition' for the kids into both a new daycare and a new home (hers). I told her this was not acceptable. I wanted to be part of the kids' experience in their new school as well and that unless she had some other good reasons to do anything different, we would stick with the shared parenting plan we had already agreed to.
Then, the other day, she gives me a revised September calendar. This one had the first two weeks with her having the kids M-F, then shifting to the agreed-to plan. I said, "No, I want to be there for them during their first week at school." She argued that she thought it was best for them to be close to her and to stay at her place during the first week. I disagreed and said she didn't understand my feelings about what I thought was best for them - and that was for them to share their new experience with both their mother and father. She said, "What are you going to do about it?" I replied that we would follow the already agreed-to plan. She said that no, we would follow her new plan. We went back and forth a few times and finally I said, "Look, if I need to get our attorneys involved to resolve this, then that's what I'll do." She replied, "Bring it on."
Later that afternoon my attorney sent her attorney a motion to the court for us to follow the agreed-to plan, which immediately got her attorney's attention - and he said there was no need for a court motion - he would talk to her and have her follow the plan. She, of course, was beside herself.
However, last night, she was much more reasonable. We had an hour long talk about what we thought would be best for the kids and we came up with a compromise. If she had just been reasonable from the start and told me why she wanted a different schedule instead of demanding it be changed, we would have more easily resolved the issue. I'm not sure whether it was her attorney's influence or what, but we were at last able to come to a resolution.
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