Reasonable

So, what is reasonable? I guess that depends on the circumstances . . .

I thought we had an agreed-to schedule but then the other day she said she had some 'changes' she wanted to talk to me about. She gave me a calendar printout for the month of September where she had filled in her name for every Monday thru Friday and mine for every Saturday and Sunday. However, that wasn't our agreement as our 50-50 arrangement was for half the week, each week, and alternating weekends. She said this would be a 'transition' for the kids into both a new daycare and a new home (hers). I told her this was not acceptable. I wanted to be part of the kids' experience in their new school as well and that unless she had some other good reasons to do anything different, we would stick with the shared parenting plan we had already agreed to.

Then, the other day, she gives me a revised September calendar. This one had the first two weeks with her having the kids M-F, then shifting to the agreed-to plan. I said, "No, I want to be there for them during their first week at school." She argued that she thought it was best for them to be close to her and to stay at her place during the first week. I disagreed and said she didn't understand my feelings about what I thought was best for them - and that was for them to share their new experience with both their mother and father. She said, "What are you going to do about it?" I replied that we would follow the already agreed-to plan. She said that no, we would follow her new plan. We went back and forth a few times and finally I said, "Look, if I need to get our attorneys involved to resolve this, then that's what I'll do." She replied, "Bring it on."

Later that afternoon my attorney sent her attorney a motion to the court for us to follow the agreed-to plan, which immediately got her attorney's attention - and he said there was no need for a court motion - he would talk to her and have her follow the plan. She, of course, was beside herself.

However, last night, she was much more reasonable. We had an hour long talk about what we thought would be best for the kids and we came up with a compromise. If she had just been reasonable from the start and told me why she wanted a different schedule instead of demanding it be changed, we would have more easily resolved the issue. I'm not sure whether it was her attorney's influence or what, but we were at last able to come to a resolution.