So, last year I put together a song list. (You can see it here:)
And here's what I listened to in 2008. Enjoy!
1. Radiohead - "House of Cards"
I could listen to this one over and over and over - and sometimes I do.
2. Spoon - "Don't You Evah"
Great, but no video :-(
3. Death Cab for Cutie = "I Will Possess Your Heart"
This is the long version - the radio version cuts out the 4 minute intro.
4. Killers - "Human"
Don't you miss 80's music?
5. Kings of Leon - "Sex on Fire"
Great, fun, sex!
6. Adele - "Chasing Pavements"
Great song - also a little different (and tragic).
7. The Airborne Toxic Event - "Sometime Around Midnight"
This one starts slowly builds to some raw emotion - and while watching the video you want to see what happens.
8. Republic Tigers - "Buildings & Mountains"
Love the mood of this one - and they sing about buildings!
9. The Bravery - "Believe"
Good rocking song - also has some 80's influences.
10. Ryan Adams - "Two"
For you country fans. I know, its a 2007 song, but I didn't find it until this year. :-)
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Single Dad Video Blog
I know I haven't posted any videos in a while, but I just came across this video blog of a single dad with his 5-year-old daughter, Savannah.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Mystic
I took the boys on a short vacation over the Labor Day weekend - to Mystic, Connecticut. We actually left after Leo was let out of Kindergarten at noon on Thursday. The boys napped in the car for the drive down to Mystic. It was nice not having to deal with airplanes or a real long drive - its just under 2 hours to get there, and the Red Sox were playing an afternoon game against the Yankees that day, so I was able to relax and listen to the game on the radio while the boys slept. (The Red Sox lost, though . . .)
What a great time the three of us had. There was beautiful weather every day except Saturday morning - so we chose that day to go to the aquarium. Apparently, we weren't the only ones who had the same idea and the aquarium was mobbed. But we still had a lot of fun. We were at the Mystic Seaport all day on Friday where we went on two boat rides and spent a lot of time at the small children's museum and playing on the small model boats they have there. I just enjoyed watching them explore and learn about boats and the seaport (and tried to keep them out of trouble!) By the time Sunday rolled around we were all tired and were glad to be home.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Kindergarten
Leo is now a Kindergartner! Today was the first day of Kindergarten - yes, before Labor Day. What they do here in Lexington is get 3 half-days in before Labor Day to ease the kids back into school mode, then start full time after Labor Day.
I guess I was a little anxious this morning. Since Leo was with his mom, I got to school and waited for them to arrive. And when they did, Daniel wanted me to carry him, so I wasn't really able to talk to Leo and ask him how he felt. We were able to find his new classroom on our own, and Leo was very curious as he spent a good deal of time looking around the room. Other children started filing in, and eventually the teacher, Mrs. Barker. She immediately took control of the situation, getting all of the children to sit in a circle on the rug - then ordering the parents to quickly say our goodbyes so she could get to work. After we left the classroom, Daniel had a meltdown in the parking lot because he wanted to leave with me instead of his mother - and she was mad because the morning drop-off time at school will not allow her to get to work by 9:00. She said, "You had to pick a school that was the most inconvenient for me, didn't you." I'm sure she would have preferred I let her have her way - which means Leo would be attending a $30,000 a year private school where they teach in French!
I saw Leo later in the day as there was an open house at 5:00 at the school for the after-school program he is enrolled in. He told me his morning was "good". We then met the teachers that run the after-school program. Lexington's kindergarten is "full-day", which is 8:45-3:15. I was able to get Leo enrolled in Lextended Day, which takes the kids at 3:15 and has outdoor playtime when the weather is nice along with arts&crafts projects until parents can pick the kids up between 5 and 6. My neighbor across the street didn't get their child enrolled in time and he is on a waiting list (which the teacher there said he probably won't get into the program at all this year). So, I'm glad I was proactive in getting the house here and getting Leo enrolled.
And I can't wait until tomorrow when I get to pick Leo up from his 2nd day in Kindergarten!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Fast Summer
Wow, its hard to believe the summer is almost over. We missed out on a lot as I had to spend too much time dealing with selling the other house and getting moved. But as we're settling into the new house, we've been able to get out and have some fun. Last week we went blueberry picking and enjoyed a hayride at Wards Berry Farm, and the week before we spent a great day at Nantasket Beach. (Pictures below)
At night I've been unpacking boxes and am very happy to say that every box has been unpacked! There are a quite a few stacks of belongings in the basement and a lot of organizing yet to do down there, but my goal was to get every box (except the Christmas stuff) unpacked so I wouldn't have anything in boxes. This has allowed me to pitch a lot of unwanted stuff. Over the last few days I've been hanging pictures. I don't have anywhere near as much wall space as I did in the other house, so some nice pictures and paintings are being relegated to the basement. But I'm determined to get everything ready for the big housewarming party on the 20th, and I'm just about there.
I've got a few more things to add to the Home Depot list. After installing new wall sconces in the dining room (to match the chandelier I moved from the old house), I found out there is a short in the dimmer switch, so I need to get a new one of those. I also need bathrobe hooks for the boys, an edge guard for the kitchen (where the new refrigerator door swings into a cabinet!), and lastly, for now, I need a new lawnmower. The old one I had used for almost 10 years so it had served me well, but the handle snapped as I was mowing my weeds at the new house. Yes, I said weeds. The previous owners of this house didn't take care of the lawn or any of the gardens (which I found out had been meticulously designed by the owners before them), and so everything is overgrown with weeds. I'll save that work for next spring - summer is almost over and it looks like its going to be a very busy fall.
At night I've been unpacking boxes and am very happy to say that every box has been unpacked! There are a quite a few stacks of belongings in the basement and a lot of organizing yet to do down there, but my goal was to get every box (except the Christmas stuff) unpacked so I wouldn't have anything in boxes. This has allowed me to pitch a lot of unwanted stuff. Over the last few days I've been hanging pictures. I don't have anywhere near as much wall space as I did in the other house, so some nice pictures and paintings are being relegated to the basement. But I'm determined to get everything ready for the big housewarming party on the 20th, and I'm just about there.
I've got a few more things to add to the Home Depot list. After installing new wall sconces in the dining room (to match the chandelier I moved from the old house), I found out there is a short in the dimmer switch, so I need to get a new one of those. I also need bathrobe hooks for the boys, an edge guard for the kitchen (where the new refrigerator door swings into a cabinet!), and lastly, for now, I need a new lawnmower. The old one I had used for almost 10 years so it had served me well, but the handle snapped as I was mowing my weeds at the new house. Yes, I said weeds. The previous owners of this house didn't take care of the lawn or any of the gardens (which I found out had been meticulously designed by the owners before them), and so everything is overgrown with weeds. I'll save that work for next spring - summer is almost over and it looks like its going to be a very busy fall.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Boxes
So, I'm now in Lexington. The move was hectic - one of the movers said, "You've got a lot of stuff - is the house you're moving into just as big?" Actually, the house is smaller, and I tried to get rid of some of the larger things before I moved, but now that I'm here with stuff crammed in everywhere, its time to get rid of some more.
And the boxes! They are everywhere! I didn't realize I had packed so much. My goal now is to unpack every box - nothing left in any boxes (except, of course, the Christmas stuff). This way, everything will be out, and then I can better decide what to get rid of and what to keep.
The kids' playroom is going to be great. I've already set some new rules as to what toys are in the Family Room so that it doesn't get too cluttered. Everything else - down in the playroom. The boys have already accepted a new routine, as they go down to the playroom when they get home from school while I cook dinner. There is still a lot of organizing to do in the playroom as well - gonna try to keep the toys in bins and on shelves so the room isn't always a complete mess.
As for the rest of the house - I'm slowly getting things in place. I had a pretty good idea where I wanted to put the big pieces of furniture before I moved - and since I've been here I've only had to switch around a couple of big things. But I'm still unpacking boxes, and as I do, I've got to find some place to put everything, at least temporarily.
And then there's the house utilities. The dryer needed a longer lint exhaust. The washing machine needed a longer discharge hose. And then when I got the washing machine installed and turned the water on, there was a leak in one of the hoses so I had to get a new hose. Once the new hose was installed, I was able to start a load of laundry, only to find that during the rinse cycle the longer discharge hose doesn't sit well in the drain pipe and so water spills over. Then I woke up the next morning to find water all over the laundry room floor as there was a small leak in the water valve which dripped all night. Got the new refrigerator delivered, and when I turned on the water for the automatic ice maker, found out there was a leak in the copper pipe at the floor, and more water spilled all over the floor in part of the basement. Which was, of course, where I had a pile of boxes stacked waiting to be unpacked. I think its now time to call a plumber!
And the boxes! They are everywhere! I didn't realize I had packed so much. My goal now is to unpack every box - nothing left in any boxes (except, of course, the Christmas stuff). This way, everything will be out, and then I can better decide what to get rid of and what to keep.
The kids' playroom is going to be great. I've already set some new rules as to what toys are in the Family Room so that it doesn't get too cluttered. Everything else - down in the playroom. The boys have already accepted a new routine, as they go down to the playroom when they get home from school while I cook dinner. There is still a lot of organizing to do in the playroom as well - gonna try to keep the toys in bins and on shelves so the room isn't always a complete mess.
As for the rest of the house - I'm slowly getting things in place. I had a pretty good idea where I wanted to put the big pieces of furniture before I moved - and since I've been here I've only had to switch around a couple of big things. But I'm still unpacking boxes, and as I do, I've got to find some place to put everything, at least temporarily.
And then there's the house utilities. The dryer needed a longer lint exhaust. The washing machine needed a longer discharge hose. And then when I got the washing machine installed and turned the water on, there was a leak in one of the hoses so I had to get a new hose. Once the new hose was installed, I was able to start a load of laundry, only to find that during the rinse cycle the longer discharge hose doesn't sit well in the drain pipe and so water spills over. Then I woke up the next morning to find water all over the laundry room floor as there was a small leak in the water valve which dripped all night. Got the new refrigerator delivered, and when I turned on the water for the automatic ice maker, found out there was a leak in the copper pipe at the floor, and more water spilled all over the floor in part of the basement. Which was, of course, where I had a pile of boxes stacked waiting to be unpacked. I think its now time to call a plumber!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
I'm Trying
I'm trying to put thoughts, feelings, emotions aside and concentrate on the move, now less than 2 weeks away. Packing is a pain - pitching is more therapeutic. Moving into a smaller house - downsizing. That feels good. Not as much to deal with. But still have to plan where things are going to go - the movers will ask. Can't figure it all out, but I can get close. Posted some unwanted furniture on Craigslist - 3 pieces posted, 3 pieces sold. Offered used cribs on the single parents message board and found a way to pass them on. Feeling lighter already. Have a bag of old clothes ready for the Salvation Army. Wanted to get through the unwanted CD's and DVD's and list them on eBay but haven't found the time for that. But those things are smaller and so can make the move. Only so many hours in a day. Still have to work. Still have the boys to take care of. The house still needs to operate, right up to moving day. Change of address forms are in progress. Magazines and credit cards are already switched over. There's usually a missed periodical when you move, but maybe not this time. I'm aware of many 'lasts' - the last time I will do this, the last time I will go there. I try to push those thoughts away. Gotta pack more boxes. Gotta pitch more junk. Now is the time to do it. I will miss this town, neighborhood, street, yard, house, room. But this move was set up almost a year ago. I didn't want to move. I was ready to fight to stay. I've got to remind myself I'm the bigger person. And this will be better for the boys. I believe it. I have to.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Finally!
Finally sold the house - what a relief. With the real estate market like it is, I was facing the probability of being handcuffed with this house for a long time. The buyer put in a low offer - we countered back and forth a couple of times, then I finally accepted a number which a few months ago I never would have imagined I would accept. The buyer is getting this house for a steal.
If it weren't for the agreement, I wouldn't have had to go through this. I didn't want to move in the first place. But, its now time to let this house go and move on. The boys will miss it - but they are already excited for the new house. I took them there a couple of weeks ago and they ran around the empty house screaming in delight.
What will this move mean for my life? Aside from the pain of finding new stores to shop at, a new doctor for the boys, and new ways to get to and from school/work, the biggest challenge will be in maintaining great friendships with people who will now live farther away. But on the bright side, the boys and I will have a house that is just ours, and we will be set for whatever the future has in store for us.
If it weren't for the agreement, I wouldn't have had to go through this. I didn't want to move in the first place. But, its now time to let this house go and move on. The boys will miss it - but they are already excited for the new house. I took them there a couple of weeks ago and they ran around the empty house screaming in delight.
What will this move mean for my life? Aside from the pain of finding new stores to shop at, a new doctor for the boys, and new ways to get to and from school/work, the biggest challenge will be in maintaining great friendships with people who will now live farther away. But on the bright side, the boys and I will have a house that is just ours, and we will be set for whatever the future has in store for us.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
AIA Convention
Went to the AIA Convention over the past 3 days - easy to do this year as it was here in Boston. (That's the American Institute of Architects for those that don't know what the AIA is.) I attended some great seminars, ran into some old friends, and visited the huge exhibition hall where I discovered some new products, found out that Google had bought SketchUP and also had to snap some pictures of the Kohler booth for Kate!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Kindergarten Here We Come
We had our meeting with the preschool director and one of Leo's teachers today. Overall, they were happy to see how much he has achieved over the past couple of months - especially how he is learning to cope with stressful situations. The teachers have been working with him to verbalize his feelings and he now has a much better ability to talk about what is happening instead of just screaming when he has a tantrum.
They both agreed that cognitively Leo is ready for Kindergarten (and then some). Especially this week, as Leo is the 'number captain' as the class is learning new ways to look at numbers - like greater than and less than, and counting by twos. Physically, he is also ready. His favorite outside activity is now climbing the monkey bars - which I saw last weekend at Todd's as Leo was proud to show off how well he could move across a set of bars.
But Leo still has some social challenges. He likes his friends at school, and is well-liked by them. And although the teachers have shifted their role to 'guiding' Leo through one of his tantrums rather than just trying to get him to stop, his outbursts still happen. They are working with him to take a deep breath when they see the signs of something about to happen - and Leo himself is even becoming aware that he is about to lose control.
Overall, though, they believe moving on to Kindergarten would be much better for Leo as opposed to staying another year in Pre-school. If he stayed, the next oldest child would be 6 months younger than Leo - so he would not have any peers. They are afraid that the growth he is now making could backfire if he was not challenged to continue to grow. Also, if he stayed he would not get the same sort of attention at the beginning of the school year as the teachers spend a lot more time dealing with the group dynamics of the new children in the class.
In Kindergarten, all of the children would be in the same position when the school year starts. And they believe Leo might even have an advantage coming from his experiences at this preschool. During the summer, the preschool sessions are run more like a camp, but without giving up much of the structure that is already in place. And if we continue to encourage Leo to be comfortable with the upcoming change of schools even better. I plan on taking him to visit his new school, and we'll also spend some additional time on the playground there.
At the end of preschool, they have "graduation". Its a special day for all of the kids and for many of them, the last time they will see each other, as they scatter to different school districts to start Kindergarten. So we'll try to get pictures of him with his present school friends - just as he has some pictures with some of the classmates he had at KinderCare.
Daniel, meanwhile, has two more years of preschool. I think he will miss having Leo around - even though they were in different classes, Daniel has never known being at school without Leo being nearby. But a second year in his Preschool 1 class will allow Daniel to grow and be one of the older children in the class - a feeling he never gets at home with his big brother around!
They both agreed that cognitively Leo is ready for Kindergarten (and then some). Especially this week, as Leo is the 'number captain' as the class is learning new ways to look at numbers - like greater than and less than, and counting by twos. Physically, he is also ready. His favorite outside activity is now climbing the monkey bars - which I saw last weekend at Todd's as Leo was proud to show off how well he could move across a set of bars.
But Leo still has some social challenges. He likes his friends at school, and is well-liked by them. And although the teachers have shifted their role to 'guiding' Leo through one of his tantrums rather than just trying to get him to stop, his outbursts still happen. They are working with him to take a deep breath when they see the signs of something about to happen - and Leo himself is even becoming aware that he is about to lose control.
Overall, though, they believe moving on to Kindergarten would be much better for Leo as opposed to staying another year in Pre-school. If he stayed, the next oldest child would be 6 months younger than Leo - so he would not have any peers. They are afraid that the growth he is now making could backfire if he was not challenged to continue to grow. Also, if he stayed he would not get the same sort of attention at the beginning of the school year as the teachers spend a lot more time dealing with the group dynamics of the new children in the class.
In Kindergarten, all of the children would be in the same position when the school year starts. And they believe Leo might even have an advantage coming from his experiences at this preschool. During the summer, the preschool sessions are run more like a camp, but without giving up much of the structure that is already in place. And if we continue to encourage Leo to be comfortable with the upcoming change of schools even better. I plan on taking him to visit his new school, and we'll also spend some additional time on the playground there.
At the end of preschool, they have "graduation". Its a special day for all of the kids and for many of them, the last time they will see each other, as they scatter to different school districts to start Kindergarten. So we'll try to get pictures of him with his present school friends - just as he has some pictures with some of the classmates he had at KinderCare.
Daniel, meanwhile, has two more years of preschool. I think he will miss having Leo around - even though they were in different classes, Daniel has never known being at school without Leo being nearby. But a second year in his Preschool 1 class will allow Daniel to grow and be one of the older children in the class - a feeling he never gets at home with his big brother around!
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Spring
Spring is my favorite season of the year. After a long winter, there's nothing better than finally being outside in the warm sun and getting the boys out of the house. Only this year, that's not the case. Its another rainy weekend and I've got to find more inside activities for the kids. They're getting tired of the same old toys they've been playing with since Christmas, and because I'm still trying to sell the house, I'm constantly trying to keep up with the cleaning. So, as they spread new toys out, I'm right behind them picking up whatever they just finished playing with.
Today we're headed out to go bowling. I think we'd all rather be riding our bikes in the park as was our original plan. But the boys are excited about the bowling trip and they know they will get a snack or ice cream out later.
Today we're headed out to go bowling. I think we'd all rather be riding our bikes in the park as was our original plan. But the boys are excited about the bowling trip and they know they will get a snack or ice cream out later.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Vacation pics
OK - here they are. A few of my vacation pictures from our trip to Lexington, Kentucky. The boys had a great time - first time hitting a baseball off of a tee, fun outside at playgrounds (the weather was fantastic!), at the marina, in the pool, and at one of my favorite places - the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Frankfort, KY.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Dad
Hi everyone. Just got back from a week in Lexington, Kentucky with the boys. They were good (most of the time) and it was great to see my Aunt, cousins and Kentucky friends.
The main reason for the trip was to have the burial service for my father, who passed away about a year and a half ago. He donated his body to a medical school, so a student could learn from his body. And now his remains have been "inurned", (interred is in the ground, inurned is what you do with cremated remains that are not buried in the ground).
I'll post more vacation pics later.
The main reason for the trip was to have the burial service for my father, who passed away about a year and a half ago. He donated his body to a medical school, so a student could learn from his body. And now his remains have been "inurned", (interred is in the ground, inurned is what you do with cremated remains that are not buried in the ground).
I'll post more vacation pics later.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Introducing . . .
my new house! Don't want to take away any of Karie's thunder, but since she shared photos of her house, here are mine:
Just made the offer today - then after one back and forth, it was accepted! Still need to get my house sold, but this one was going to go fast if I didn't move on it.
Just made the offer today - then after one back and forth, it was accepted! Still need to get my house sold, but this one was going to go fast if I didn't move on it.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Out of state
I tried to call the boys at their mother's house on Saturday night. There was no answer and I had to leave a message. Then, on Sunday night, I tried calling again. No answer - this time I left a message saying I would call back in half an hour. After 30 minutes, I tried again. Again, voicemail. I wanted to wish the boys a Happy Easter.
Then, about 30 minutes later, the phone rings. Its Leo on Karen's cell phone. We had a good chat - until he said he was at Nana's house. I stayed calm and continued talking to Leo. He had a fun day - got chocolate bunnies for Easter. Then I talked to Daniel, but it was late and he was very tired. Then we said good night.
So, here's the part that got me mad. She never told me she was taking the boys to her mother's house for the weekend. Her mother lives on Long Island - in New York. By doing this, she violated the terms of our divorce agreement. It specifically says that neither party can remove the children from the state without advance notice to the other party of at least seven days, and must provide the other party with the locations where they will be with contact phone numbers.
So, now I have to write her another e-mail about something she has done which goes against our agreement. I know it was only to her mother's, and I'm sure the boys had a good time. But something could have happened, and I would of had no idea they were even out of state.
Then, about 30 minutes later, the phone rings. Its Leo on Karen's cell phone. We had a good chat - until he said he was at Nana's house. I stayed calm and continued talking to Leo. He had a fun day - got chocolate bunnies for Easter. Then I talked to Daniel, but it was late and he was very tired. Then we said good night.
So, here's the part that got me mad. She never told me she was taking the boys to her mother's house for the weekend. Her mother lives on Long Island - in New York. By doing this, she violated the terms of our divorce agreement. It specifically says that neither party can remove the children from the state without advance notice to the other party of at least seven days, and must provide the other party with the locations where they will be with contact phone numbers.
So, now I have to write her another e-mail about something she has done which goes against our agreement. I know it was only to her mother's, and I'm sure the boys had a good time. But something could have happened, and I would of had no idea they were even out of state.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Vegetarian
Leo, again. I go to pick him up from school on Thursday, and Laura, one of his teachers, asks me if Leo is a vegetarian. I tell her no. She tells me that Leo asked her if what they had served him at lunch was meat. She said yes. Leo then told her that he is a vegetarian and the meat used to be alive.
Now, during our divorce, whether we raised the kids to be vegetarians was a huge issue. I knew Karen was vegetarian when I married her. She told me she hadn't always been vegetarian. She grew up eating meat - hot dogs, hamburgers, steak, chicken. I believe she told me that it was sometime in college she stopped eating meat. She's not a vegan or anything that extreme - it was more about eating something that had a consciousness.
At home, I respected her beliefs and never brought meat into the house. We ate a lot of bean dishes, experimenting with Indian and Eastern cuisine. I got my fill of meat during lunches at work, or whenever we went out to a restaurant to eat. In fact, she encouraged me to have meat when we ate out, knowing I was sacrificing what I liked at home for her beliefs. And when her mom visited, she always went shopping for meat and would cook lamb or other meat dishes for dinner for her and I while Karen ate something else.
After Leo was born, I remember a conversation we had about whether he would be raised as a vegetarian. I thought that as long as he got the protein he needed as a baby eating non-meat baby food, that would be okay. But as he got older, it would be his choice as to whether he ate meat or not. I specifically remember telling Karen that when I took Leo to Fenway Park to see a Red Sox game, we would have Fenway Franks together (or at least I would offer one to him). So Leo, and then Daniel, never ate meat as a baby.
However, once Leo was in daycare, they served meat at lunch. Karen first tried to get them to serve him other non-meat foods, but KinderCare was not really set up for vegetarian diets. So Leo started eating meat at school. I then began to offer him meat when I was out with the boys - Chicken McNuggets when we were at McDonalds (he ate them), and ham & cheese sandwiches at Panera (he ate that as well). Once Daniel started eating non-baby food, he ate meat as well, both at daycare and when he was out with me.
During the divorce, this became an issue after I started buying meat at the store - not anything like steaks, but since I spent every night and all weekend at home every week with the boys, I bought a lot of hot pockets and other prepared foods that included meat. One particular day I was having lunch with the boys at home - I believe I made them peanut butter and jelly while I had a ham and cheese hot pocket. Leo and Daniel wanted pieces of my sandwich, which I was giving them (and they were eating) when Karen came home from whatever she was doing and saw the boys eating ham. She got upset, demanding I not let the boys eat meat. We got into a big argument with no resolution. A couple of days later my attorney received a letter from her attorney threatening legal action regarding the 'vegetarian issue'. We responded with the facts, and the issue died for the time being.
It later came up again while meeting with the Guardian Ad Litem - he asked me questions about what happened - I told him my belief that it was a choice for the boys to make on their own, and he agreed with me.
After the divorce when we switched daycare providers, the boys continued to be offered meat at school. I also routinely give them meat at home, although Leo has developed an aversion to hot dogs. Then, a couple of months ago, I remember first hearing Leo say that he was a vegetarian. I thought it was just something he had heard Karen say and didn't think much of it. He has since repeated it again a few times, but I didn't think it was a big deal, as kids often repeat things they hear.
But now, its a serious issue. Leo skipped a meal at school. And, I believe he is being brainwashed by Karen into believing he does not eat meat. I sent Karen an e-mail on Friday demanding she stop her actions and explain to Leo that it is his choice. Meanwhile, I'm thinking I am going to take Leo to the grocery store and spend some time showing him all of the different foods there are, including the meat section, and that all of the foods offer different protein and vitamins for us to grow healthy and strong. Ultimately, it will be Leo's choice, but I don't think that either of us should make that choice for him. If we were both vegetarians and raised him that way, that would be different. But since we have opposite beliefs on the matter, neither of us should force our beliefs on him.
Now, during our divorce, whether we raised the kids to be vegetarians was a huge issue. I knew Karen was vegetarian when I married her. She told me she hadn't always been vegetarian. She grew up eating meat - hot dogs, hamburgers, steak, chicken. I believe she told me that it was sometime in college she stopped eating meat. She's not a vegan or anything that extreme - it was more about eating something that had a consciousness.
At home, I respected her beliefs and never brought meat into the house. We ate a lot of bean dishes, experimenting with Indian and Eastern cuisine. I got my fill of meat during lunches at work, or whenever we went out to a restaurant to eat. In fact, she encouraged me to have meat when we ate out, knowing I was sacrificing what I liked at home for her beliefs. And when her mom visited, she always went shopping for meat and would cook lamb or other meat dishes for dinner for her and I while Karen ate something else.
After Leo was born, I remember a conversation we had about whether he would be raised as a vegetarian. I thought that as long as he got the protein he needed as a baby eating non-meat baby food, that would be okay. But as he got older, it would be his choice as to whether he ate meat or not. I specifically remember telling Karen that when I took Leo to Fenway Park to see a Red Sox game, we would have Fenway Franks together (or at least I would offer one to him). So Leo, and then Daniel, never ate meat as a baby.
However, once Leo was in daycare, they served meat at lunch. Karen first tried to get them to serve him other non-meat foods, but KinderCare was not really set up for vegetarian diets. So Leo started eating meat at school. I then began to offer him meat when I was out with the boys - Chicken McNuggets when we were at McDonalds (he ate them), and ham & cheese sandwiches at Panera (he ate that as well). Once Daniel started eating non-baby food, he ate meat as well, both at daycare and when he was out with me.
During the divorce, this became an issue after I started buying meat at the store - not anything like steaks, but since I spent every night and all weekend at home every week with the boys, I bought a lot of hot pockets and other prepared foods that included meat. One particular day I was having lunch with the boys at home - I believe I made them peanut butter and jelly while I had a ham and cheese hot pocket. Leo and Daniel wanted pieces of my sandwich, which I was giving them (and they were eating) when Karen came home from whatever she was doing and saw the boys eating ham. She got upset, demanding I not let the boys eat meat. We got into a big argument with no resolution. A couple of days later my attorney received a letter from her attorney threatening legal action regarding the 'vegetarian issue'. We responded with the facts, and the issue died for the time being.
It later came up again while meeting with the Guardian Ad Litem - he asked me questions about what happened - I told him my belief that it was a choice for the boys to make on their own, and he agreed with me.
After the divorce when we switched daycare providers, the boys continued to be offered meat at school. I also routinely give them meat at home, although Leo has developed an aversion to hot dogs. Then, a couple of months ago, I remember first hearing Leo say that he was a vegetarian. I thought it was just something he had heard Karen say and didn't think much of it. He has since repeated it again a few times, but I didn't think it was a big deal, as kids often repeat things they hear.
But now, its a serious issue. Leo skipped a meal at school. And, I believe he is being brainwashed by Karen into believing he does not eat meat. I sent Karen an e-mail on Friday demanding she stop her actions and explain to Leo that it is his choice. Meanwhile, I'm thinking I am going to take Leo to the grocery store and spend some time showing him all of the different foods there are, including the meat section, and that all of the foods offer different protein and vitamins for us to grow healthy and strong. Ultimately, it will be Leo's choice, but I don't think that either of us should make that choice for him. If we were both vegetarians and raised him that way, that would be different. But since we have opposite beliefs on the matter, neither of us should force our beliefs on him.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Pluto
Leo and I carried on the following conversation tonight:
Leo: "Daddy, what is the name of the first planet?"
Me: "Mercury."
Leo: "Okay. So first there's the Sun. Then Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto."
Me: "Wow, Leo, you know all your planets."
Leo just smiled, and then said, "Daddy, I've got a great idea. Let's go to Pluto!"
Me: "Well, I don't know, Leo. Its pretty cold on Pluto."
Leo thought a minute, then said, "That's okay, Daddy. I'll bring my sled."
Leo: "Daddy, what is the name of the first planet?"
Me: "Mercury."
Leo: "Okay. So first there's the Sun. Then Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto."
Me: "Wow, Leo, you know all your planets."
Leo just smiled, and then said, "Daddy, I've got a great idea. Let's go to Pluto!"
Me: "Well, I don't know, Leo. Its pretty cold on Pluto."
Leo thought a minute, then said, "That's okay, Daddy. I'll bring my sled."
Monday, March 17, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Haircuts
Took the boys for their haircuts this morning. I actually got the idea from Leo, who asked me yesterday when his next haircut was going to be. I, in turn, asked him whether he felt he needed one (he did). And he said, "Daddy, I think its time I got a haircut."
So, while the snow was falling here this morning, I got the kids into the car and drove over to SuperCuts. Now, they had both been there before - it was the scene of Daniel's first ever haircut. (Leo's first was at Snip Itz - a place I don't recommend.) Sometimes the kids get balloons after their haircuts - sometimes lollipops - oftentimes both! As we pulled up to the SuperCuts, Leo started yelling from the back seat, "No, Daddy. Not this one. I want to go to the other haircut store!" I turned around and asked him what he meant, and he said, "The one in Greenport!"
Greenport is in New York - down at the east end of the north fork of Long Island. Greenport is best known (by my kids) as the place with the carousel. Hull also gets the same recognition. Greenport is also known for their large population of people of hispanic origin (namely, Mexicans), who work as laborors on all the wealthy Long Island and Shelter Island estates. The boys' mother took them to visit her mother a couple of months ago - she lives in Cutchogue, on Long Island, and during that trip was when the boys got their last haircut. So, whatever 'haircut store' they went to must have left an impression on Leo, because he absolutely refused to go into SuperCuts.
Daniel, meanwhile, jumped out of the car and practically ran into the place. I had to drag Leo through the snow, kicking and screaming. Once inside, Daniel had his jacket off, ready to go. I had to pull Leo's coat off as he tried to run away from me. He was screaming, "No, Daddy, no! I want to go to Greenport!"
I finally got Leo settled down by giving him one of his stock cars to play with (I usually carry an extra one in my pocket, just in case), while Daniel got his hair cut first. Daniel did pretty well, up until the first cut with the clippers. I ended up having to hold his head down so he didn't fidget while the hair stylist did a decent job with the clippers. Then it was scissors-time, and Daniel held his head up straight, very proud. He ended up with a pretty good haircut.
Then it was Leo's turn. While I was with Daniel, Leo had put his coat back on and was grumbling to himself in the corner couch in the waiting area. He tried to run away from me - I caught him, pulled off his coat (again), and carried him to the hair stylist. Leo ended up sitting on my lap - I held his head while the stylist cut his hair. That was hard to do and, in the end, Leo's haircut wasn't all that good.
I normally would have left the store as soon as Leo started acting up. Sometimes its just not worth it - and better to avoid having to use force to get them to do something. But haircuts are one of those things that their mother seems to think I don't do unless she specifically asks me, which she used to do. The haircuts they got in Greenport may have been the first time she actually took them herself. Their hair was pretty long, though, and this morning was a good time to get it done.
After Leo was through, they both got lollipops, and were all smiles. Leo started showing off his stock car to some of the other people waiting to get their hair cut, while I paid the bill. Don't know what their experience in Greenport was, but this was one I'd rather forget.
So, while the snow was falling here this morning, I got the kids into the car and drove over to SuperCuts. Now, they had both been there before - it was the scene of Daniel's first ever haircut. (Leo's first was at Snip Itz - a place I don't recommend.) Sometimes the kids get balloons after their haircuts - sometimes lollipops - oftentimes both! As we pulled up to the SuperCuts, Leo started yelling from the back seat, "No, Daddy. Not this one. I want to go to the other haircut store!" I turned around and asked him what he meant, and he said, "The one in Greenport!"
Greenport is in New York - down at the east end of the north fork of Long Island. Greenport is best known (by my kids) as the place with the carousel. Hull also gets the same recognition. Greenport is also known for their large population of people of hispanic origin (namely, Mexicans), who work as laborors on all the wealthy Long Island and Shelter Island estates. The boys' mother took them to visit her mother a couple of months ago - she lives in Cutchogue, on Long Island, and during that trip was when the boys got their last haircut. So, whatever 'haircut store' they went to must have left an impression on Leo, because he absolutely refused to go into SuperCuts.
Daniel, meanwhile, jumped out of the car and practically ran into the place. I had to drag Leo through the snow, kicking and screaming. Once inside, Daniel had his jacket off, ready to go. I had to pull Leo's coat off as he tried to run away from me. He was screaming, "No, Daddy, no! I want to go to Greenport!"
I finally got Leo settled down by giving him one of his stock cars to play with (I usually carry an extra one in my pocket, just in case), while Daniel got his hair cut first. Daniel did pretty well, up until the first cut with the clippers. I ended up having to hold his head down so he didn't fidget while the hair stylist did a decent job with the clippers. Then it was scissors-time, and Daniel held his head up straight, very proud. He ended up with a pretty good haircut.
Then it was Leo's turn. While I was with Daniel, Leo had put his coat back on and was grumbling to himself in the corner couch in the waiting area. He tried to run away from me - I caught him, pulled off his coat (again), and carried him to the hair stylist. Leo ended up sitting on my lap - I held his head while the stylist cut his hair. That was hard to do and, in the end, Leo's haircut wasn't all that good.
I normally would have left the store as soon as Leo started acting up. Sometimes its just not worth it - and better to avoid having to use force to get them to do something. But haircuts are one of those things that their mother seems to think I don't do unless she specifically asks me, which she used to do. The haircuts they got in Greenport may have been the first time she actually took them herself. Their hair was pretty long, though, and this morning was a good time to get it done.
After Leo was through, they both got lollipops, and were all smiles. Leo started showing off his stock car to some of the other people waiting to get their hair cut, while I paid the bill. Don't know what their experience in Greenport was, but this was one I'd rather forget.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Still waiting for offers
The house has been on the market for 3 weeks now. I'm going to have another open house this weekend. Keep your fingers and toes crossed!
Monday, March 3, 2008
3-3 Video of the week
This was made by my nephew Sam. He is 17 and aspires to be a filmmaker.
Some of you may want to turn the volume down. Others may want to turn the volume up. Some of you may not want to relive what happened on 9/11. Its your choice.
Some of you may want to turn the volume down. Others may want to turn the volume up. Some of you may not want to relive what happened on 9/11. Its your choice.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
For sale sign
Well, there's now a "For Sale" sign in the front yard. The house is officially on the market tomorrow, and its supposed to snow. So it goes.
I think when the boys first see the sign after school tomorrow the reality that we are going to be moving will hit them for the first time. I've talked to them about selling the house and buying a new one where we will begin to share new memories together, but I don't think they've really understood it.
The decision I made to try and keep some semblance of peace in our family by avoiding going to court I still think was the right one, and the boys are doing very well at the new daycare. But there's a part of me that still does not want to leave - the house, the town, the area. You get used to a place - everything from where you take your clothes to get dry-cleaned to your favorite gas station or bank or grocery store. And its not that I can't find new favorites in a new town, but I like the places I go now.
I also have some great friends in the area, and that by moving, is going to make things more difficult. When you're only 5 minutes away its easy to just drop in for a visit. When you're 45 minutes away, things are going to have to be planned. Its not as if that won't work (being a planner myself), but part of me is worried that the distance may be a big obstacle to overcome in keeping good friendships. Its something that has been on my mind, and now that the For Sale sign is up in the yard, its a reality that is hitting me too.
I think when the boys first see the sign after school tomorrow the reality that we are going to be moving will hit them for the first time. I've talked to them about selling the house and buying a new one where we will begin to share new memories together, but I don't think they've really understood it.
The decision I made to try and keep some semblance of peace in our family by avoiding going to court I still think was the right one, and the boys are doing very well at the new daycare. But there's a part of me that still does not want to leave - the house, the town, the area. You get used to a place - everything from where you take your clothes to get dry-cleaned to your favorite gas station or bank or grocery store. And its not that I can't find new favorites in a new town, but I like the places I go now.
I also have some great friends in the area, and that by moving, is going to make things more difficult. When you're only 5 minutes away its easy to just drop in for a visit. When you're 45 minutes away, things are going to have to be planned. Its not as if that won't work (being a planner myself), but part of me is worried that the distance may be a big obstacle to overcome in keeping good friendships. Its something that has been on my mind, and now that the For Sale sign is up in the yard, its a reality that is hitting me too.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
2-17 Video of the week
Do you remember Richard Scarry books? How about the Beastie Boys? Now, both of them together!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Important Life Lessons
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During the second month of high school, a teacher gave her class a pop quiz. The top student was very conscientious - he breezed through the questions until he read the last one:
'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'
Surely this was some kind of joke. He had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would he know her name?
He handed in his paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward the quiz grade.
'Absolutely,' said the teacher. 'In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello.'
That student has never forgotten that lesson. He also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:3 0 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
It read:
'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.'
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who
serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked.
'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress...
The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied..
The little boy again counted his coins.
'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were three dimes, three nickels and five pennies...
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, a volunteer at a hospital got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
The volunteer saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and he said, 'Yes I'll do it if it will save her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as everyone in the room did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then the boy's face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'.
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
(Thanks JLH.)
During the second month of high school, a teacher gave her class a pop quiz. The top student was very conscientious - he breezed through the questions until he read the last one:
'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'
Surely this was some kind of joke. He had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would he know her name?
He handed in his paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward the quiz grade.
'Absolutely,' said the teacher. 'In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello.'
That student has never forgotten that lesson. He also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:3 0 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
It read:
'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.'
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who
serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked.
'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress...
The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied..
The little boy again counted his coins.
'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were three dimes, three nickels and five pennies...
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, a volunteer at a hospital got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
The volunteer saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and he said, 'Yes I'll do it if it will save her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as everyone in the room did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then the boy's face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'.
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
(Thanks JLH.)
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Birthday
Leo's birthday party is planned for Saturday. Its going to be at an indoor playground with 10 of his friends. There would be more kids attending had it not been for one of his classmates also having a birthday party on the same day. But that's okay - he's still going to have a great time.
Funny how winter birthdays kinda limit you to what you can do. One of Leo's friends was born in August, and they had a pool party last year. Another friend was born in June. And although she had a bowling party last year, the month of June still allows more choices.
I asked Leo what he wanted for his birthday - he said a NASCAR cake. And more 'NASCARs'. A few weeks ago he was asking for NASCAR trucks as he saw a video of them on the computer. That's it - all NASCAR. So, he's gonna get what he wants. But NASCAR parties for 5-year-olds aren't that easy to plan. I found some NASCAR-themed party favor bags, but no favors. And they had plates, cups and napkins, but those are already going to be supplied by the indoor playground. But I found a #5 small NASCAR to put on his cake, so that made me happy, as it will Leo I'm sure.
Funny how winter birthdays kinda limit you to what you can do. One of Leo's friends was born in August, and they had a pool party last year. Another friend was born in June. And although she had a bowling party last year, the month of June still allows more choices.
I asked Leo what he wanted for his birthday - he said a NASCAR cake. And more 'NASCARs'. A few weeks ago he was asking for NASCAR trucks as he saw a video of them on the computer. That's it - all NASCAR. So, he's gonna get what he wants. But NASCAR parties for 5-year-olds aren't that easy to plan. I found some NASCAR-themed party favor bags, but no favors. And they had plates, cups and napkins, but those are already going to be supplied by the indoor playground. But I found a #5 small NASCAR to put on his cake, so that made me happy, as it will Leo I'm sure.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
What is your new album?
1 – Go to Wikipedia’s random article page
The first article you get is the name of your band
2 – Go to the Random Quotations page
The last four words of the last quote is the album title
3 – Go to Flickr’s Interesting photo page
Third picture, no matter what it is, is your album cover
If you can edit the photo add the band name and 4 words to make the album cover.
Here’s mine:ADOBE FONT FOLIO
“That's Your Own Self” (end of an Aldous Huxley quote)
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Parent Coordinator
The boys and I met with the Parent Coordinator tonight. It was my 3rd meeting with her, the boys' 2nd. Maybe I should go back to the start first . . .
In our divorce agreement, there is a section on resolving disputes regarding the children. That is, if there is an issue about the kids that we can't agree on, we are to make our arguments to a Parent Coordinator who will try and mediate the issue. It is the PC's job to get us to a solution. If, after the PC makes a recommendation and one side or the other feels strongly enough in disagreement, the issue could then go before a judge, who would then have the final say in the matter.
What sort of issues may come up? Who knows. Things seem to be going okay right now, we're kind of in a routine which is working well with the boys. One issue that came up during the divorce process was whether the kids would be vegetarians or not. My X (who is vegetarian) feels very strongly that the boys don't eat meat - and she mis-recalls a conversation we had about this subject when Leo was a baby. She thinks I agreed to him being raised vegetarian. I, on the other hand, specifically remember saying that although I would not bring meat into the house (in respect to my X's beliefs), it would be up to Leo to decide whether he wanted to eat meat. As an example, I said that if we were at a Red Sox game and Leo wanted a hot dog, I was not going to tell him that he couldn't eat one - it would be his choice. We resolved the issue, through our attorneys, unfortunately ($$$$), by agreeing that when we each had our own houses we could choose what foods to serve them, meat or no meat. Since Leo had no meat in any of his baby food, he never really took to eating it when served as he grew older. He does occassionaly eat chicken nuggets, but I've never seen him eat a hot dog. He loves macaroni & cheese and cheese pizza, but no meat with either. Daniel, on the other hand, loves meat, and will eat anything put before him. He even eats the green vegetables that Leo won't touch.
I could imagine that if we had not resolved this issue when we did, that post-divorce this might be something that my X would take to the Parent Coordinator. As for what issues in the future we might completely disagree on so strongly that it would go to the PC, that's something I have no idea about now. But at least the process is in place if needed.
My X and I first met with the PC together a little over a month ago, to ask her questions about her approach to resolving conflicts and to discuss with her our situation. The meeting lasted about 50 minutes, of which most of the time was spent by my X complaining about how she thought I acted during the divorce. The meeting was not productive at all, other than the PC seeing my X at 'her best'. This was followed by each of us meeting with her for 50 minutes by ourselves, then another meeting with each of us with the kids - of which mine with the boys was the last one, which was tonight. This was an opportunity for the PC to see how we interact with the boys, and for her to get to know them a little bit. She was impressed by their good manners (I'm sure in her line of work she sees some real cases), and she seemed to enjoy the visit.
The Parent Coordinator has one more roll to fill before she is 'on call', and that is to review our parenting schedule and offer any comments she may have. I think the schedule is working well for us, and she seemed to agree, but we are still waiting for her review in writing. We'll see where it goes from here, but I think its good to know that there is now someone in place to resolve any disputes that may come up in the future.
In our divorce agreement, there is a section on resolving disputes regarding the children. That is, if there is an issue about the kids that we can't agree on, we are to make our arguments to a Parent Coordinator who will try and mediate the issue. It is the PC's job to get us to a solution. If, after the PC makes a recommendation and one side or the other feels strongly enough in disagreement, the issue could then go before a judge, who would then have the final say in the matter.
What sort of issues may come up? Who knows. Things seem to be going okay right now, we're kind of in a routine which is working well with the boys. One issue that came up during the divorce process was whether the kids would be vegetarians or not. My X (who is vegetarian) feels very strongly that the boys don't eat meat - and she mis-recalls a conversation we had about this subject when Leo was a baby. She thinks I agreed to him being raised vegetarian. I, on the other hand, specifically remember saying that although I would not bring meat into the house (in respect to my X's beliefs), it would be up to Leo to decide whether he wanted to eat meat. As an example, I said that if we were at a Red Sox game and Leo wanted a hot dog, I was not going to tell him that he couldn't eat one - it would be his choice. We resolved the issue, through our attorneys, unfortunately ($$$$), by agreeing that when we each had our own houses we could choose what foods to serve them, meat or no meat. Since Leo had no meat in any of his baby food, he never really took to eating it when served as he grew older. He does occassionaly eat chicken nuggets, but I've never seen him eat a hot dog. He loves macaroni & cheese and cheese pizza, but no meat with either. Daniel, on the other hand, loves meat, and will eat anything put before him. He even eats the green vegetables that Leo won't touch.
I could imagine that if we had not resolved this issue when we did, that post-divorce this might be something that my X would take to the Parent Coordinator. As for what issues in the future we might completely disagree on so strongly that it would go to the PC, that's something I have no idea about now. But at least the process is in place if needed.
My X and I first met with the PC together a little over a month ago, to ask her questions about her approach to resolving conflicts and to discuss with her our situation. The meeting lasted about 50 minutes, of which most of the time was spent by my X complaining about how she thought I acted during the divorce. The meeting was not productive at all, other than the PC seeing my X at 'her best'. This was followed by each of us meeting with her for 50 minutes by ourselves, then another meeting with each of us with the kids - of which mine with the boys was the last one, which was tonight. This was an opportunity for the PC to see how we interact with the boys, and for her to get to know them a little bit. She was impressed by their good manners (I'm sure in her line of work she sees some real cases), and she seemed to enjoy the visit.
The Parent Coordinator has one more roll to fill before she is 'on call', and that is to review our parenting schedule and offer any comments she may have. I think the schedule is working well for us, and she seemed to agree, but we are still waiting for her review in writing. We'll see where it goes from here, but I think its good to know that there is now someone in place to resolve any disputes that may come up in the future.
Monday, January 21, 2008
New Chandelier
Last week when my realtor walked through the house she commented on the light in the dining room. She said something like, "I remember you used to have a nice chandelier here. Now it looks like someone just went out and bought something cheap to replace it." Well, that someone was me. The X took the old chandelier that was there, since it was actually hers from before we were married. So after she moved out I went out to Home Depot and bought something that looked okay, thinking I didn't want to spend too much since I was going to be selling the house anyway.
Now, after seeing the room through my realtor's eyes, I realize that the fixture I had bought really did look cheap, and that if we (my realtor and I) want to get top dollar for the house, there should be a much better fixture in the dining room - like a chandelier.
So, after work today I stopped by a lighting store and it didn't take long before I saw the perfect fixture. I didn't want something that hung down too low, and I liked the way this fixture cast shadows around the room. Now that its installed, its even better! The shadows on the ceiling are exquisite and it gives the room a whole new look. I love it!
So after I sell the house, should I put the old fixture back up and take the new one with me? :-)
Friday, January 18, 2008
1-18 Video of the week
Finally got around to downloading Christmas movies off of the camera. This is one of the best - Daniel opening one of my presents!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Car Pedestals
Last week Leo got creative with the blocks. And since he loves his 'NASCARs', he built these pedestals to show them off. I was so impressed I had to take a picture after the kids went to bed. The next morning, Daniel promptly destroyed it all.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Tough day
Leo had a tough day today. When I got to school to pick him up there was a big note on his cubby asking me to talk to one of his teachers. The class was out back enjoying outdoor time in the nice weather, and when I saw Leo he came over and told me he had had a bad day.
Then his teacher came over and as Leo pedaled away on a bike, she told me about his day. He had arrived late as his mother had told them Leo had a doctor's appointment this morning. (It was actually a visit she had with the boys to our Parent Coordinator, but that's another story.) It was morning outdoor time, still a little chilly, and Leo had been dropped off at school without any gloves in his cubby. He wanted to wear a pair of the school's gloves as he told them he thought his hands were going to get cold outside.
After playtime the teachers thought Leo was acting unsure of things and kind of nervous. He did not want to sit still during circle time, and got upset when his teacher asked him to settle himself. He was finally able to get through circle, but when it ended he got mad as he wanted his teacher to answer a question - this is now one of Leo's favorite expressions when he wants something, he first tells you he wants to ask you a question. But since his teacher was busy with another student, Leo needed to wait a moment. Leo then began screaming his teacher's name - she told him she would be happy to listen to him as soon as he was able to calm himself down and ask her in a soft voice. Leo instead screamed even louder and lunged at the teacher with both of his hands.
She took him to the cozy corner (a quiet spot with soft pillows) and he sat there for about 20 minutes while they served lunch. Leo eventually asked to join everyone at the lunch table, but by then most of the children were finishing up and so Leo got upset again that he didn't get to eat with everyone else, and then he started screaming for other food. One of the afternoon teachers came in and took Leo back to the cozy corner and sat with him for 20 minutes until it was teacher's choice - Leo joined the group and enjoyed the pre-nap story. At naptime Leo started resting quietly, but then got very upset again when he wanted his teacher's company but she was busy settling another child. He was asked to please wait a few minutes, but instead he started screaming. The afternoon teacher then took him to the jumping room for the remainder of naptime.
Then, later in the afternoon, before outdoor time, Leo tried to bite his teacher when she told him that he needed to wait ten more minutes before it was time to go outside. So he was back in the cozy corner until playtime.
When I arrived, he seemed to be okay and was glad to see me. His teacher told me that she thought he might be acting out as she knows Wednesdays are transition days between his mother and father and that he really wanted to see his daddy. That may be part of it, but I think by arriving late his entire daily schedule got messed up and he was never able to fully recover from his first outburst. I also don't know what happened at the Parent Coordinator visit this morning - all Leo would tell me was that he played with some toys there. I have my first meeting with the Parent Coordinator next week, so I'll ask her about Leo's visit.
Then his teacher came over and as Leo pedaled away on a bike, she told me about his day. He had arrived late as his mother had told them Leo had a doctor's appointment this morning. (It was actually a visit she had with the boys to our Parent Coordinator, but that's another story.) It was morning outdoor time, still a little chilly, and Leo had been dropped off at school without any gloves in his cubby. He wanted to wear a pair of the school's gloves as he told them he thought his hands were going to get cold outside.
After playtime the teachers thought Leo was acting unsure of things and kind of nervous. He did not want to sit still during circle time, and got upset when his teacher asked him to settle himself. He was finally able to get through circle, but when it ended he got mad as he wanted his teacher to answer a question - this is now one of Leo's favorite expressions when he wants something, he first tells you he wants to ask you a question. But since his teacher was busy with another student, Leo needed to wait a moment. Leo then began screaming his teacher's name - she told him she would be happy to listen to him as soon as he was able to calm himself down and ask her in a soft voice. Leo instead screamed even louder and lunged at the teacher with both of his hands.
She took him to the cozy corner (a quiet spot with soft pillows) and he sat there for about 20 minutes while they served lunch. Leo eventually asked to join everyone at the lunch table, but by then most of the children were finishing up and so Leo got upset again that he didn't get to eat with everyone else, and then he started screaming for other food. One of the afternoon teachers came in and took Leo back to the cozy corner and sat with him for 20 minutes until it was teacher's choice - Leo joined the group and enjoyed the pre-nap story. At naptime Leo started resting quietly, but then got very upset again when he wanted his teacher's company but she was busy settling another child. He was asked to please wait a few minutes, but instead he started screaming. The afternoon teacher then took him to the jumping room for the remainder of naptime.
Then, later in the afternoon, before outdoor time, Leo tried to bite his teacher when she told him that he needed to wait ten more minutes before it was time to go outside. So he was back in the cozy corner until playtime.
When I arrived, he seemed to be okay and was glad to see me. His teacher told me that she thought he might be acting out as she knows Wednesdays are transition days between his mother and father and that he really wanted to see his daddy. That may be part of it, but I think by arriving late his entire daily schedule got messed up and he was never able to fully recover from his first outburst. I also don't know what happened at the Parent Coordinator visit this morning - all Leo would tell me was that he played with some toys there. I have my first meeting with the Parent Coordinator next week, so I'll ask her about Leo's visit.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Baby
Leo: When we get a new baby I want to decorate the baby room.
Me: Leo, what baby are you talking about?
Leo: You know, the new baby.
Me: Okay. But we don't have another room for a baby.
Leo: Then I'll share my room with the baby.
Me: Okay. Well, are we going to have a boy or a girl?
Leo: What daddy?
Me: I guess I'm asking you if you would rather have a baby sister or a baby brother.
Leo: The baby is going to be a girl.
Me: Why a girl?
Leo: Because there is only one girl in our family.
Me: And who is that?
Leo: Mommy is a girl.
Me: And what are you going to do with a baby sister?
Leo: I'm going to protect her.
Me: Protect her?
Leo: Yes, like Lady in the movie.
Me: OK Leo.
(We had just finished watching Lady and the Tramp)
Me: Leo, what baby are you talking about?
Leo: You know, the new baby.
Me: Okay. But we don't have another room for a baby.
Leo: Then I'll share my room with the baby.
Me: Okay. Well, are we going to have a boy or a girl?
Leo: What daddy?
Me: I guess I'm asking you if you would rather have a baby sister or a baby brother.
Leo: The baby is going to be a girl.
Me: Why a girl?
Leo: Because there is only one girl in our family.
Me: And who is that?
Leo: Mommy is a girl.
Me: And what are you going to do with a baby sister?
Leo: I'm going to protect her.
Me: Protect her?
Leo: Yes, like Lady in the movie.
Me: OK Leo.
(We had just finished watching Lady and the Tramp)
Idea
The phrase any parent loves to hear: "Hey, I've got a great idea - let's see what happens if we throw this down the stairs."
Leo!!!!
Leo!!!!
Friday, January 4, 2008
Holes in teeth
I got upset at Leo tonight at the dinner table. I made the boys' favorite (mac 'n cheese, if you have to ask), but Daniel insisted on wanting to eat in the Family Room. Well, one of the little chairs at the table broke during the New Year's Eve party (that's another story), so I only had one chair. Leo asked if I could move one of the soft chairs over, so I did. Then they fought over who would sit in the soft chair. So, I moved the other soft chair over, but neither of them wanted to sit in that one.
So, I said, "That's it! Nobody's going to eat here - we're eating in the kitchen instead!" So, I dragged them into the kitchen and up into their chairs, with both of them crying. I fixed my dinner while the two of them sat there complaining about not being able to eat in the Family Room. I asked them to quiet down a number of times, which they finally did, but they weren't eating.
I sat down with my dinner and Daniel finally took a bite of his. Leo refused. I told him that if he didn't start eating his dinner he was going to have to go to bed hungry. He said he didn't want to go to bed. I told him that he needed to eat. Daniel was now about halfway through his dinner. Leo just sat there crying.
Leo then asked for his blankie. I told him he could have it, but only after he took his first bite of dinner. He refused. Meanwhile, Daniel asked for the broccoli off of my plate, which I gave him and he promptly ate.
Daniel finished his dinner and asked for dessert from the pussycat. (I keep candy in a ceramic cat cookie jar that was a gift from my father.) I told Daniel he could, which led to Leo asking for dessert. I told Leo he could not have dessert until he ate his dinner. Leo then asked for his blankie. I asked Daniel to wait one minute while I tried to get Leo to start eating. I explained to Leo that he needed to eat in order to keep growing, and that he needed the nourishment in the food to get strong. With tears streaming down his face, he finally took a bite. I congratulated him and got his blankie for him, and he smiled.
Daniel got to pick out two pieces of candy - he chose a piece of chocolate money (leftover from the Holiday party) and a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup (leftover from Halloween). I told Leo he could have some if he ate half of his dinner. Leo refused and started crying again. I told him that I had had enough and that he was to go straight upstairs to bed. He said he wouldn't go straight to bed. I asked him what he wanted to do first. He said he would have to brush his teeth first, because if he didn't he would get holes in his teeth and that they would fall out and then he wouldn't be able to eat any more food and then he would die.
I couldn't help but smile at him. His eyes were all puffy with tears all over his face but his statement had such conviction in it. I gave him a big hug and told him he would be able to brush his teeth, but wouldn't it be great if he ate some food first? He hugged me back, ate almost half of the mac 'n cheese, then got two pieces of candy and all was well with the world again.
So, I said, "That's it! Nobody's going to eat here - we're eating in the kitchen instead!" So, I dragged them into the kitchen and up into their chairs, with both of them crying. I fixed my dinner while the two of them sat there complaining about not being able to eat in the Family Room. I asked them to quiet down a number of times, which they finally did, but they weren't eating.
I sat down with my dinner and Daniel finally took a bite of his. Leo refused. I told him that if he didn't start eating his dinner he was going to have to go to bed hungry. He said he didn't want to go to bed. I told him that he needed to eat. Daniel was now about halfway through his dinner. Leo just sat there crying.
Leo then asked for his blankie. I told him he could have it, but only after he took his first bite of dinner. He refused. Meanwhile, Daniel asked for the broccoli off of my plate, which I gave him and he promptly ate.
Daniel finished his dinner and asked for dessert from the pussycat. (I keep candy in a ceramic cat cookie jar that was a gift from my father.) I told Daniel he could, which led to Leo asking for dessert. I told Leo he could not have dessert until he ate his dinner. Leo then asked for his blankie. I asked Daniel to wait one minute while I tried to get Leo to start eating. I explained to Leo that he needed to eat in order to keep growing, and that he needed the nourishment in the food to get strong. With tears streaming down his face, he finally took a bite. I congratulated him and got his blankie for him, and he smiled.
Daniel got to pick out two pieces of candy - he chose a piece of chocolate money (leftover from the Holiday party) and a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup (leftover from Halloween). I told Leo he could have some if he ate half of his dinner. Leo refused and started crying again. I told him that I had had enough and that he was to go straight upstairs to bed. He said he wouldn't go straight to bed. I asked him what he wanted to do first. He said he would have to brush his teeth first, because if he didn't he would get holes in his teeth and that they would fall out and then he wouldn't be able to eat any more food and then he would die.
I couldn't help but smile at him. His eyes were all puffy with tears all over his face but his statement had such conviction in it. I gave him a big hug and told him he would be able to brush his teeth, but wouldn't it be great if he ate some food first? He hugged me back, ate almost half of the mac 'n cheese, then got two pieces of candy and all was well with the world again.
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