Marlin

The boys and I watched "Finding Nemo" yesterday. It had been a few years since I had seen it (and then I don't think I was paying too much attention), but this time I sat with the boys on the couch and watched it - and it was really good.

The home situation was a lot different a few years ago and if I had really watched it then, I don't think I would have gotten the same message out of it. You see, it didn't register with me when I first saw the movie that Marlin, Nemo's dad, was a single father. Yes, after the unfortunate death of Coral and all of her eggs but one by the barracuda, Marlin was left to care for Nemo as a single parent.

As the movie shifts ahead in time, Marlin is overprotective of Nemo - partially because Nemo has one bad fin, but I think mostly because Nemo is the only offspring of his to survive and Marlin wants to make sure nothing bad happens to him. As Nemo gets older, he starts trying to do things his father is asking him not to - testing both what he is able to do as well as to see how his father will react.

Later in the film, when Marlin and Dory are looking for Nemo, Dory has a great quote when she tells Marlin that he should let Nemo experience things on his own, otherwise Nemo would never experience anything. Its a great animated film, one of the best I've ever seen, and I'm sure we will be watching it again.

Commando

So I took the boys to Scalliwags on Thursday with Kate and Isabel. Nobody else from the group could make it - but they missed a great time!

The boys love to crawl around the gym, go down the big slide in the giant bouncy house, and ride around in the cars and on the tricycles in the toddler room. Isabel had not been to Scalliwags before and she was a little scared of the big bouncy house at first but she soon was running around on her own enjoying the indoor playground.

At one point, Daniel came out of the bouncy house without his pants on - just wearing his diaper. The other parents were laughing as I asked Daniel what happened to his pants, and Daniel said that Leo took them. Soon Leo came out of the bouncy house holding Daniel's pants. He must have grabbed a hold of them while Daniel was going down the slide.

Then, a little while later, Daniel walked up to me with his pants part of the way down and I couldn't see his diaper. So I checked to see if maybe his diaper had slid down further into his pants - but there was no diaper. I asked Daniel what happened to his diaper and he said he threw it in the trash. Daniel was going commando! So I led him to the bathroom to get a new diaper on, but it certainly was a funny moment.

27 Mhz

Wow, what a Christmas. The boys were very excited - but were so tired from a late Christmas Eve party that they slept until 7. They still didn't understand the concept of the stockings, which they skipped in favor of the bigger presents under the tree.

There were a few gifts from relatives that were a little young for them, so I think I'm going to save those for Toys for Tots next year. Just about everything else they got they absolutely love. Its funny, sometimes its the less expensive gifts that they really go for. I got Daniel a LeapPad and Leo a Leapster, and they aren't really too interested in them right now.

Instead, their favorite toys are the remote control monster trucks. I got the first one on a super sale at Kohl's on Black Friday (at 5:30 am!) and it didn't cost too much. Then, later in the day while at Wal Mart, I bought the second one, also on sale. I thought I was smart by getting different types of trucks that they would be able to play with them together (knowing that remote controls for the same kinds of trucks wouldn't allow them both to play at the same time). Well, I was foiled! It turns out that both trucks run on 27 Mhz - meaning that the remote controls for both trucks can run either truck, and that if they are both on at the same time then neither of them can really run their truck separately. I looked back through the instruction book and found that you can also get trucks that run on 49 Mhz. So it looks like I will need to go out and get another truck so that they can play with their trucks together.

12-16 Video of the week

Like Father, Like Son - think about it.

Ten best songs of 2007

Here's what I listened to in 2007. Enjoy!


1. James Morrison – "Under The Influence"

2. KT Tunstall - “Saving My Face”

3. Snow Patrol – “Chasing Cars”

4. Kaiser Chiefs – “Love’s Not A Competition”

5. Silversun Pickups – “Lazy Eye”

6. Radiohead – “Jigsaw Falling Into Pieces”

7. Fall Out Boy – “This Ain’t A Scene Its An Arms Race”

8. Modest Mouse – “Dashboard”

9. Keane – “Is It Any Wonder”

10. The Killers – “Read My Mind”

Snow

Wow - where did all of this snow come from?



I got a call at work that daycare was going to close at 3:00 due to the weather. The snow started falling in Boston around 1:00. I left at 2, thinking that I'd get to the school around 2:15 when the boys were waking up from their naps. The Mass Pike was practically a parking lot already so I barely made it to the school by 3:00. That's right, an hour to go 4 miles!

Finally got the boys into their snow gear and left school at 3:30. The Mass Pike back into Boston the other way had been all backed up so I figured that maybe the Pike westbound might move a little faster after the toll booths, then I would circle around the south of Boston on 128. Now as I'm sitting here looking back, that was a really stupid decision on my part.

As soon as I got on the Pike it was gridlock. I had brought along Leo's favorite movie, which they watched twice by the time we got to 128. That's right, almost 2 hours to go 8 miles.

Then, once on 128, there were jacknifed trucks and stalled cars that we slowly weaved in and around as I put on the Lion King and pulled out snacks for the boys I had tucked away. We finally got home at 7:30 - a 4-hour drive in the falling snow! Might have been cut down to 2 hours if I'd gone the other way, but the boys were pretty good most of the way so I can't complain.

12-5 Ten tips from last week

1. When you don't put the kids' names on their mittens at daycare, the mittens disappear.

2. When you do put the kids' names on their mittens at daycare, one mitten disappears.

3. Kohl's does not have kids' waterproof mittens.

4. If your kids use a night lite, always have extra night lite bulbs on hand - or an extra night lite.

5. When someone sets up a "quick" nature hike through the woods with the kids, first find out how long the hike is really going to be.

6. Gingerbread men somehow always end up getting their heads chewed off first.

7. When you hire a landscape company to do a Fall cleanup to get all of the leaves off your lawn, make sure it gets done before the first snowfall of the season happens.

8. Kids absolutely love the first snowfall of the year.

9. Let the kids put whatever ornaments they want on the tree - then re-arrange them while the kids are sleeping so the ornaments don't break.

10. Its easier to wrap Christmas presents when the kids are sleeping - young'uns don't understand gifts to relatives that need to be shipped weeks before Christmas.

12-4 Video of the week

Jingle Bells from Leo and Daniel:

Christmas picture

I've been wanting to take Leo and Daniel to Sears or Target to get some pictures taken - but never seemed to have the time. So, part of the reason the tree is up early was in order to take some pictures myself with the boys in front of the tree and use those as inserts for my Christmas cards. Of course, you never know if there will be one that is good enough - so you take a bunch and hope for the best.

Leo, of course, didn't want to wear the white shirt. And then, once I got them in front of the tree, Leo kept making funny faces. Kinda cute, but not anything you want to send out to all your friends and relatives. Daniel also has a nasty bruise under his left eye when he fell off a slide at school the other day, but that's easily remedied by a little photoshop.

This one turned out pretty good - captured them in between when I told them I was going to take the picture. So this is the one I'm going to use.

Christmas Tree

So, the Christmas tree is up. Leo and Daniel were excited the past couple of days as I was preparing them for today. Both of them wanted to be my 'helpers'. So after breakfast, I got the tree out of the basement and began putting it together. Now, as artificial trees go, this one's pretty easy. But Leo still got impatient as he was demanding to be the one to put the star on top.

I finished assembling it and turned the lights on - and Leo and Daniel clapped their hands. I soon found the star in the ornament box, then both Leo and Daniel each had a turn putting the star on top (with me holding them up high so they could reach). Of course, later in the day I had to re-do the star to make sure it would stay.

We then began putting ornaments on the tree, which the boys soon got bored of, so we called it quits, got dressed, then went to the store to buy some new waterproof mittens. After lunch and naps, we visited a friend of mine, then had dinner, baths, bedtime stories, and Leo and Daniel were soon in bed asleep. That's when I finally got around to finishing the tree.

Checkup

Daniel had his 3 year checkup today. After carefully preparing him for the visit, he couldn't wait to go. Leo, of course, came along too. And as I already knew, Daniel's as healthy as can be. Leo helped out and got his height and weight checked too.

But, there were a couple of things about Daniel I wanted the doctor to check. First, there was his speech. When Daniel's speaking, many times he breathes through his nose so you can't always understand what he's saying. Dr. Cox checked out his nasal passages and everything seemed fine, so he wasn't concerned and thought this was something Daniel would grow out of.

Then, we talked about Daniel's walking. His toes turn in, especially when he is running - sort of what they used to call being 'pigeon-toed'. So Dr. Cox watched Daniel walk and saw the feet turning in, then gave him a thorough examination of his feet, ankles and legs. He finally diagnosed Daniel with internal tibial torsion. Its the least problematic form of 'intoeing', and Dr. Cox was not worried a bit saying to let the bones straighten out by themselves. Now this was something I remembered a friend of mine had when I was in grade school - he wore these clunky braces on his legs and couldn't play any sports. I never seriously thought Daniel would have to wear anything like this, but the thought did cross my mind. Now, after reading the articles on this subject, it sounds like enough research has been done so that kids don't have to wear these unnecessary leg braces for this diagnosis.

Daniel then got his flu shot and he barely winced. He's a tough little kid.

11-27 Video of the week

I recently watched the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness". This is a clip of my favorite scene. And yes, I cried during the movie.

11-26 Ten tips from last week

1. Although Thanksgiving isn't the same without the kids, you can still enjoy the holiday with a group of great friends.

2. It feels pretty good to have all of the Christmas shopping done and presents wrapped while it is still November.

3. However, the chances that I'm going to buy something else between now and Christmas is pretty high - I've already thought of something I need to get. By the time Christmas eventually arrives I'll probably have bought too much.

4. Always call your mother on her birthday - even if you already sent flowers and a card.

5. And when someone else says he doesn't want to make a big deal about his birthday, then proceeds to tell the world on the internet when his birthday is, he deserves all of the good-natured ribbing he gets!

6. Children don't always understand the difference between live TV and a movie on DVD (which you can start and stop whenever you want). Maybe I need TIVO!

7. When your child outgrows a favorite pair of shoes, it is best not to have them around in eyesight after you buy the new ones.

8. While on the subject of clothes, I'm finding it hard to just let them pick out whatever it is they want to wear each day. So I'm picking my battles and only insisting on something more reasonable when needed - like when the thermometer outside says its 36 degrees and your child has put on a pair of shorts.

9. You can get a lot of mileage out of Halloween candy if you ration it out a little at a time.

10. After the long Thanksgiving weekend, when people at work ask you how your holiday was with your family (not knowing that you weren't with your family), its OK to just tell them it was fine.

Back to Daddy

It was so great to have the boys back today - I missed them terribly. Leo ran up to me, gave me a big hug, then said, "I love you Daddy." I looked at him and said, "So its back to Daddy, huh?" He said, "You'll always be my Daddy."

Daniel was still getting unbuckled by his mother in the car when he saw me, and he immediately started screaming, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy." So I'm Daddy again and it feels great.

Black Friday 2007

So, I went out early and shopped. Wasn't really planning on getting going too early, but I woke up around 5:00 with a nasty cough (maybe it was from all of the wine I drank at Sandy's - finally catching up to me). So I decided to go ahead and make an early start. Besides, Kohl's had already been open for an hour!

I arrived at Kohl's around 5:30 and there were already quite a few cars in the parking lot. (Game Stop wasn't open yet, but there was a long line of people - must have been some sale for a new video game or something.) I expected to be frustrated by the hordes of people in the store, but it really wasn't too bad, except for the length of the checkout line.

My next stop was the Hanover Mall - Macy's, KB Toys, AC Moore and Wal Mart. I stuck with the sale items and coupons and did very well. Then it was on to Braintree, where I had a Bed Bath & Beyond coupon and there was still an early bird sale at KMart. I got everything I was looking for except the new bike for Leo as KMart had already sold out of them. Since the weather won't be nice enough for bike riding again until April, I think it will be OK to wait until then to get him his new bike. I also think I may already have enough for him so he shouldn't mind. I'll just have to listen closely to him when he's on Santa's lap to see what else he asks for . . .

I then went over to Borders for some much-needed coffee, then browsed through the books to get a few new Christmas stories for the boys. Overall, not a bad morning, and I've got all of my Christmas shopping done, except for maybe an item or two that I may pick up over the next few weeks.

My haul:

11-22 Ten things to be thankful for

Special Thanksgiving edition:

1. Leo and Daniel - for being the great little human beings they are, even when they're wrestling on the floor or hitting each other.

2. The Boston-Providence Single Parents group - you guys are awesome!

3. My 2 old cats - for being with me through . . . well, you will have to ask them.

4. My job - for the ability to work hard and get paid to help make the world a better and more beautiful place.

5. NASCAR - for providing Leo a fun way to learn bigger numbers.

6. SFPCC - for being so patient with the boys (now if SFPCC could only take a little better care of keeping track of the kids' clothes . . .)

7. My ex-mother-in-law - for finally picking up the phone so I could talk to the boys last night.

8. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts Department of Revenue Child Support Enforcement Division - for now providing an "Interactive Case Manager" through the internet.

9. Mom - for being there.

10. "Ten, ten, ten, ten for everything, everything, everything, everything"

Blogger

So, I'm now writing on Blogger. Not that there's anything wrong with Myspace (although I know that Tom misses having Andy as a friend), but now that Andy's got Kate and me over here, I think I'll try this for a while.

For any new readers, I've copied over my older blogs from Myspace so you can get caught up on what's been going on - may make it a little easier to understand what I'm writing about sometimes. I think I'll go and write my last Myspace blog now, which will essentially point over to here.

Dad

So, Leo called me 'Dad' for the first time today. Not 'Dada' or 'Daddy'. Just 'Dad'. Not sure he even thought about it. I was helping him put some roads together for his cars to drive on and he said, "No, Dad, that's not how I want it - please do it like this." Dad. It sounded great!

Test

This is a test blog.

11-12 Ten tips from last week

1. Always get your child a cake on his birthday.

2. When you hear one child say to the other "Put your finger in my mouth", run in and see what's going on.

3. Setting up a teacher conference is a pain in the butt when the days they do the conferences are not the days you have your children.

4. "Stinky-butt" can be used as a description for a lot of people, even in public.

5. Rice Krispies still go "Snap, Crackle, Pop" when they're dumped on the floor.

6. Not all Friendly's Restaurants are the same - it really depends on how good your waiter/waitress is. For example, when the waiter forgets your 3-year-old's lunch and everyone else is served, this is not a good Friendly's. Especially when he was the one saying "I'm hungry" the loudest. (And they didn't even comp his meal . . .)

7. Stock cars are a great way to teach your toddler numbers.

8. NASCAR looks completely different when seen through the eyes of a 4-year-old.

9. When your kids try on their snow boots to see if they still fit, plan on letting them wear the boots for a while, because they will want to keep the boots on, even if its not snowing.

10. With one less person in the house I can now go 2 weeks without going to the dump. This especially helps when the dump is closed for Veteran's Day.

iPod

I miss my iPod. Ever since I had to give up my commuter rail pass and start driving to work, I haven't used it once. Now, when I was taking the train, the iPod was my solace - be it watching a video podcast or just zoning out to some tunes.

So, the other day I thought I would take the train to work instead of driving. I didn't have to take the kids to daycare, and the traffic had been particularly bad the day before, and it was raining. So before I left the house I thought I would just check to see if the iPod was charged - but I couldn't find it! I searched everywhere (or so I thought). But with no iPod in hand, I decided the train ride wouldn't be worth it, so I went ahead and drove into work.

I get to the parking garage behind my building, reach into my briefcase and pull out my umbrella, and lo and behold, there's the iPod. It was buried underneath the umbrella in my briefcase. Wouldn't have mattered anyway, though, because when I tried to turn it on, there was no charge so I wouldn't have been able to use it anyway.

Now the iPod is all charged up, but who knows when I'll get around to having some time to use it again.

11-6 Ten tips from last week

Part 1: Post Halloween tips:

1. When you put a bowl of candy out on the front porch with a big sign that says "PLEASE TAKE 2", the trick-or-treaters end up taking more than 2 each.

2. A two-year-old doesn't recognize when he's already been to a house trick-or-treating.

3. Let the kids eat some of their candy Halloween night, then hide the rest.

4. If you don't want any more trick-or-treaters, turn off all the lights - then they'll skip your house.

5. If you don't get silly string cleaned up right away, it leaves a mark on the porch, house, driveway, or wherever else they sprayed it.

Part 2: Other tips:

6. Always lock the car doors while you're driving with the kids in the back.

7. There is no room to pull off to the side while driving in the HOV lane when someone in the back opens one of the car doors.

8. When a hurricane comes, take down the flag pole.

9. When its time to turn the clocks back, make sure you get the one closest to your bed.

10. Furniture companies may tell you they can give you a 4-hour window for the day they will deliver your furniture so you don't have to be home all day waiting - they just won't tell you WHICH 4 hours until the day before. Bastards.

Daddy Don't Go

So, it was drop-off day yesterday at their mother's house. I was late because we were having so much fun at the morning playgroup at Susana's that I kinda lost track of time. Then I had to drive from Susana's over to their mother's house, of which there is no direct route and I'd never travelled through that part of Boston before. Needless to say, I took a wrong turn and ended up on the back roads through Malden. And wouldn't you know, while I was still trying to figure out how to get back to a main road to figure out where I was, she calls me on my cell phone asking me where I was - and telling me I was late (obviously!).

We finally made it to her house. It was pouring outside (the remnants of Hurricane Noel), and Leo decides he doesn't want to leave the car - he would rather stay with me. Daniel is excited to get out of the car because he sees his Nana's car in the driveway (my ex-mother-in-law). But even with that, Leo wouldn't budge.

So I get Daniel through the rain into the door, then go back to get Leo. He won't leave the car saying he wants to come back home with me. I'm being as positive and supportive as I can be, telling him that his Nana has come to see him and they are going to do all sorts of fun things. Leo still won't go. I finally reached in and picked him up - and carried him through the rain into the house. He wouldn't go up the stairs as he curled up on the floor of the breezeway. His mother called down to him from the second floor landing. Leo said he didn't want to see her, he just wanted to be with his daddy. She asked me to carry him up the stairs, so I did. He fought all the way and was crying. I finally got him to the door and gave him a hug. He held on to me tight and said "Daddy don't go." I told him I had to leave, it was now his time with mommy. He said he didn't want to be with mommy, he wanted to be with me. His mother tried to tell him it would be OK and he would be seeing his daddy in four days. She finally asked me to just hand him over to her which I did. Leo screamed. I told him I loved him and I would see him soon. The last words I heard him say were, again, "Daddy don't go."

Back Door

So, after work I picked the boys up from daycare and we started on our way to go to a restaurant for dinner (it being Friday night and all). The drive from Allston to Hingham is anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes, depending on traffic, but with the boys in the car I get to drive in the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lane on the Southeast Expressway.

We're just past Boston, had just gotten into the HOV lane, when the light goes on in the car and the inside bell starts dinging. What could that be I thought? I looked down at the display just above the steering wheel and it said that the left rear car door was open! Now I'm travelling at about 55 miles per hour in a long line of cars - and once you're in the HOV lane, there's nowhere to pull over. My next thought? "Oh Shit!"

Leo then asks me what is wrong (he being the one sitting in the rear seat on the left side). I asked him to please not touch the door. I looked in the side rear view mirror and saw that at least his door was still partially latched, so I hit the electronic lock button on my left driver's panel, locking all the doors. The dinging finally stopped but all the inside car lights stayed on. But there was nothing to do but keep driving.

So, we got to the end of the HOV lane about ten minutes later and I was finally able to pull over, get out of the car and close Leo's door. Once back in the driver's seat, I immediately locked all the doors. Won't make that mistake again!

10-29 Ten tips from last week

Part 1: Special pre-Halloween edition (from Sunday's Halloween party with the kids):

1. Kids don't really want to wear the masks on their spiderman costumes.

2. Costumes should be worn more than once - you either paid too much for them or someone spent a lot of time making them.

3. Having the same colored shoes really does help the costume.

4. Orange peppers can take the place of pumpkins - they're easier for the kids to carve and not anywhere near as messy.

5. When wrapped up in toilet paper like a mummy you can scare the living bejeezes out of a 3-year-old. (Sorry Isabel)

Part 2: Sports and toys

6. Staying up past midnight watching the Red Sox win the World Series leaves one both sleep-deprived and elated at the same time.

7. When a 4-year-old gets distracted from watching a NASCAR race, you can switch the channel over to the football game and tell him the race was over - he won't know the difference.

8. The boys continue to get more enjoyment out of cheaper gifts. The more expensive toys tend to get a lot of immediate attention but really don't get used too often after that.

9. Multi-tasking during a baseball game is much easier than during a football game. For instance, you can do a lot in Myspace between pitches - you don't have to wait until the end of an inning. But while the football game is on there's so much going on during each drive that if you start writing a Myspace comment to someone you might miss a touchdown. (Especially if the Patriots score 52 points!)

10. Did I mention the Red Sox won the World Series? So here's a tip for all you Red Sox fans - there never was a curse!

Shoes

So, the boys got new shoes today. Did they really need new shoes? No. Then why did we go? Well, there were a few reasons:

1. Daniel is wearing the black spiderman costume for Halloween this year (at Leo's insistence) and he didn't have any black shoes.

2. Leo only has 2 pairs of shoes that fit, and they are both tennis shoes (one of which he doesn't want to wear).

3. Their mother asked me to buy them.

Now, 1 makes sense - you can't have a black costume with tan colored shoes!

As for 2, Leo can be a pain when he decides he doesn't want to wear something anymore. And the only other pair of shoes he has is Thomas the Tank Engine tennis shoes. The pair he doesn't want to wear are blue, so they go with his Spiderman costume. I'll find out tomorrow whether he will wear them or not.

Which leads us to 3. When I was married, many times it was easier to just do what she asked, no matter whether whatever it was was needed or not. So is this a sign that I haven't let go of that? I would say not because if it weren't for 1 and 2 above, I wouldn't have bought new shoes just because she asked me to.

Oh, and there was also no way I was going to get out of the shoe store without buying both of them new shoes!

Arrrrrrgh!

Daniel is testing me! He's approaching his 3rd birthday and has decided to NOT do anything I ask him to do. His favorite word the past 2 days has been "No"! So he didn't eat any dinner tonight (pizza, one of his favorites), and sat there and watched as Leo finished all of his, as well as dessert. He wouldn't take a time out. He wouldn't go upstairs (I had to carry him), he wouldn't take a bath (I undressed him and put him in the water), then had to put him to bed multiple times. When I try to ignore him, he finds me and asks to be carried. When I say no, he throws himself on the floor. When I give him a hug, he tells me he loves me, then goes and throws some toys on the floor. As if he needs more attention . . .

I remember when Leo did the same thing. Frustrating for sure, but I know he'll outgrow it soon, as Leo did. Just have to get through it without any permanent damage!

10-22 Ten tips from last week

1. Last minute babysitters hired through an organization cost a lot of money.

2. When the babysitter calls you to tell you your child is running a fever, always ask what the thermometer said.

3. If your child is still not completely potty-trained, make sure he uses the potty before you put him down for a nap when he is sick.

4. When your child has a virus with a low grade fever and he does not seem to be in much pain, it is best to NOT give him medicine and let the fever fight off the virus.

5. Uneaten, overripe bananas make for great banana bread.

6. The chances are great that when you go furniture shopping, the one piece you really want is not in stock (and they won't sell you the display model).

7. Belly dancers wear very tight skirts. And they don't mind taking your money.

8. Find out how much the bottle of wine costs before drinking.

9. When getting directions to restaurants, make sure the person giving you the directions has actually been there (and knows which restaurant you're talking about).

10. That Leo prefers storytime with Mommy rather than talking on the phone with Daddy.

And one extra: Keep calling your children when you're not with them. And if they hang up on you, call them back - and tell them you love them.

Weekend

So its my weekend without the boys. But after an exhaustive week caring for Leo for 3 days, then both of them the rest of the week, on Friday when I dropped them off at daycare I was able to take a deep breath and sighhhhhhh.

I was wired when I got home from work Friday night, so I decided to work on my Myspace page - and ended up working at it past midnight. If you couldn't tell, I'm anal about making things line up and look good so it took a while to format all of the images to get each one in each category to be the same size. And I like the new music playlist I added - I'm going to try and remember to rotate the songs around so the same one doesn't start each time.

Saturday morning I went furniture shopping. Since the kids' mom moved out Leo's clothes have been in piles on the floor in his room as she got his bedroom furniture. I tried taking the boys with me to furniture stores a couple of times, but they get bored within a few minutes and furniture shopping takes time. So, I went by myself, picked out the bedroom set I liked - only to find out the one piece in the set I needed most (the dresser) was out of stock! I was looking forward to getting the furniture delivered right away, but they give you a 4 hour window where you have to be at home for the delivery, and I don't have time to wait around twice. So I told them to deliver the furniture once they get the dresser in stock - which they said would be in a couple of weeks.

Saturday night I had dinner with friends at Karoun Restaurant in Newton. Can't say any more about that, but I've seen both pictures and videos others have taken!

Sunday (today) was also busy - a bike ride in the morning followed by lunch with friends, then played a few games of pool while watching the Patriots crush the Dolphins.

Can't wait to talk to the boys on the phone tonight. When I called last night I got the answering machine so I could only leave a message.

One

So, because Leo stayed with me while he was sick with that nasty virus (on the days he was supposed to be with his mother), it was like having only one child again. She had Daniel at her place while I cared for Leo. Yes, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are supposed to be her days with the children, but since Leo was with me when he got sick, it was best for me to keep him at my house. So I ended up taking sick days from work to be home with Leo while he got better - and both of those were days when I wasn't even supposed to have the children.

It ended up being OK. Leo's fever settled back to about 101 on Monday, and by Wednesday afternoon the fever was gone. It was kind of nice to just have Leo for a few days. Daniel can be so commanding of my attention that Leo gets left by himself many times. So on Wednesday Leo and I ran some much-needed errands. There's a Saab dealership right next to the cleaners, and Leo asked if we could go look at the new cars at the "car store". I said "Sure!" So Leo and I spent about half an hour looking at the cars in their showroom. I told one of the salesman that I wasn't there to buy anything and he was cool with that (there wasn't anybody else there anyway). I showed Leo the differences in the car models and we sat in all of them. It was a lot of fun.

That afternoon, his mom called and said that Daniel missed him and so she wanted to know if it was OK to bring him by to see Leo. I knew she just wanted to leave Daniel with me and, sure enough, she didn't even spend two minutes in the house visiting with Leo before leaving the two of them with me. It was my day to have them back anyway so I didn't mind - and Leo did miss having Daniel around. But for a couple of days, even though Leo wasn't feeling well, it was kind of nice to spend some time with just him.

104

So, Leo was sick today. Actually, it started last night about an hour after he went to bed. He woke up crying and he was burning up. I gave him some water to drink, then some Motrin, and that calmed him down. He woke up about every other hour and I had to go in and comfort him each time. Neither of us got much sleep.

So this morning he wouldn't eat any breakfast as he was lying on the couch with his blankie. He felt almost too warm so I popped a thermometer in his mouth and it said 104! He took more Motrin and that helped. Meanwhile I got Daniel ready for school, not knowing how Leo was going to respond to the medicine but his fever went down to 101. I called Parents In A Pinch to get a sitter on her way - she finally showed up around 9 and I then took Daniel to school and went to work. Leo was feeling much better when I got home after work having slept most of the day.

Clock

So she drops the boys off at 7:30, comes in and puts their leftover drinks in the fridge. She looks up at the clock, then walks over, takes the clock off of the wall and takes it with her. It was her clock, as are many other things in the house, but I figured she didn't want it in her new place. I wonder if she's going to continue to take stuff.

Its not that I mind her having the things that were hers. Its the way she did it - not even a word.

D-Day

So, its now official. I am single (again).

Turned out there was one remaining issue to be resolved and it went right down to the wire. It helped that my attorney knew the court clerk very well - and she basically told us how the court had ruled on similar open issues in the past. This allowed us to craft the remaining language of our Agreement so that we could get it all signed before seeing the judge - which I later found out had to be done if you have an uncontested divorce hearing. The judge even commented how he liked the language we had used on that very issue.

Now, if it wasn't for her attorney being such an a**hole, I think this whole matter would have been completed back in June. But, here we are, one year after filing, finally divorced. Cheers everyone!

Anniversary

So, Saturday was the wedding anniversary - I totally forgot. I was looking forward to spending the evening with everyone at Jake Ivory's and then having so much fun while there I didn't even think about what day it was. I guess September 8th is now just any other day.

Visitation

So, as part of the transitioning in of the new schedule, today was a 'visitation day' for me. That means that the boys spent last night at their mother's place and she took them to daycare this morning. Then I got to pick them up from school and spend the rest of the afternoon and have dinner with them before taking them back to their mother's house for the night.

It sucked.

I mean, I was glad to see the boys - we went to a playground in Watertown, then I found a Friendly's where the boys had their favorite Mac 'N Cheese and ice cream dessert. I was very glad to spend the time with them since I had not seen them in 2 days. But it was tough taking them back to Arlington. Leo complained that he didn't want to go to Mommy's - he wanted to go to my house. And Daniel spent all of dinner giving my hugs saying "Daddy, daddy, daddy."

Once at her house, Leo wanted me to come in - so his mother let me so Leo could show me his playroom. Part of me thinks she wanted me to come in so that I would see how small the place was compared to the house in Hingham. But Leo enjoyed showing off some new toys he got and as I left I got big hugs from both Leo and Daniel. It was hard leaving them after what was only a 3-hour visit.

I guess I'm fortunate that there will not be too many of these types of visitations - our 50/50 custody agreement has an equal number of nights the boys spend with each of us. But because of the way some of the days fall as we alternate weekends, we each will have one of these visitation days each month. I suppose she will find out how hard it is when its her turn.

Schedule

So, we started "The Schedule" today. Was this what I wanted? Not sure, but it is the eventual product of divorce.

The day started with me getting the boys up, getting them to eat some breakfast, then dressed, and into the car. The drive to Allston wasn't too bad - got to use the HOV lane on the Southeast Expressway so we passed all of the traffic that was backed up in the other lanes. The boys watched the first half of "Toy Story" on the DVD.

We got to the new daycare and I was stuck right at the start. I was never told what the security code was on the outside door to get into the building so I had to wait about five minutes until another parent showed up. Once inside, Leo showed me where his cubby was (as he had had 2 intro visits with his mother the last couple of weeks). Then I dropped him off with his new teacher and took Daniel down to his classroom. Daniel was great - I stayed for about a half hour with him (filling out paperwork that their mother was supposed to have already completed) and I just watched him go from activity to activity and get introduced to his new classmates. He was having a great time! So then I went to check on Leo - this wasn't so good. He just wanted to hold on to me - then he wanted to go to Daniel's classroom. I took him down to see Daniel, then had to carry him back to his class as he wouldn't go himself. One of the teachers finally helped me and got Leo to stop crying so he could give me a hug and I could leave. I got to the car and cried.

Finally got to work and sent an e-mail to their mother to let her know how the dropoff went. It was good that it was a very busy day at the office so I didn't have time to think much about the boys. It was also nice to be able to leave at the end of the day whenever I wanted and not be tied to a train schedule. The drive home was easy - stopped at the grocery store, then arrived home - to an empty house. And the house is very quiet without the boys here.

So, this is how it is going to be, half of every week, and every other weekend. I'll give the boys a phone call tomorrow night - let them be with their mother tonight as they adjust to her place. Then I'll see them Thursday night for dinner - then they are back with their mother for the weekend.

I guess this is going to take some getting used to.

Gone

So, she's gone. It finally happened. Now me and the boys have the house to ourselves. She left more behind than I thought she was going to so its not too bad. She even left the furniture that she tried to get me to buy from her.

I've had some of my father's furniture in storage which is going to be delivered early next week. Then I've got to get new bedroom furniture for Leo and a few other pieces to fill in where things are missing. And since she took all of the rugs, looks like I'm going to go rug shopping as well.

But that's all just stuff. The important thing is to make this place a happy home - and that's what we're going to do!

Away

Its nice to be away - I definitely needed the break from the day-to-day stress I've been going through.

I've been able to spend time catching up with my mom and brother while all of my cousin's final wedding preparations are in full gear. Its a lot easier to talk about things in person than over the phone. And although my brother and I have had a few rocky spots in our past, whenever we get together he's great, and we're able to go forward with a better relationship. My mom never wants to interfere in my life but is always available to talk to - which is nice to know she's there for me. We're also now making plans for her next visit to Boston.

So, although I wish I would have been able to go to the Marshfield Fair and the soup kitchen this weekend (I hope you guys go), there will be more fun events for us all to share in the future. Besides, its been a treat to get caught up with my aunt and my cousins and be here for Katie's wedding. But its also nice to just be *away*.

Reasonable

So, what is reasonable? I guess that depends on the circumstances . . .

I thought we had an agreed-to schedule but then the other day she said she had some 'changes' she wanted to talk to me about. She gave me a calendar printout for the month of September where she had filled in her name for every Monday thru Friday and mine for every Saturday and Sunday. However, that wasn't our agreement as our 50-50 arrangement was for half the week, each week, and alternating weekends. She said this would be a 'transition' for the kids into both a new daycare and a new home (hers). I told her this was not acceptable. I wanted to be part of the kids' experience in their new school as well and that unless she had some other good reasons to do anything different, we would stick with the shared parenting plan we had already agreed to.

Then, the other day, she gives me a revised September calendar. This one had the first two weeks with her having the kids M-F, then shifting to the agreed-to plan. I said, "No, I want to be there for them during their first week at school." She argued that she thought it was best for them to be close to her and to stay at her place during the first week. I disagreed and said she didn't understand my feelings about what I thought was best for them - and that was for them to share their new experience with both their mother and father. She said, "What are you going to do about it?" I replied that we would follow the already agreed-to plan. She said that no, we would follow her new plan. We went back and forth a few times and finally I said, "Look, if I need to get our attorneys involved to resolve this, then that's what I'll do." She replied, "Bring it on."

Later that afternoon my attorney sent her attorney a motion to the court for us to follow the agreed-to plan, which immediately got her attorney's attention - and he said there was no need for a court motion - he would talk to her and have her follow the plan. She, of course, was beside herself.

However, last night, she was much more reasonable. We had an hour long talk about what we thought would be best for the kids and we came up with a compromise. If she had just been reasonable from the start and told me why she wanted a different schedule instead of demanding it be changed, we would have more easily resolved the issue. I'm not sure whether it was her attorney's influence or what, but we were at last able to come to a resolution.

Packing

So, the reality of the past 12 months is finally here - she is packing! (Really, I was doubting if it would ever end . . . )

Expectations

So, I thought everything was all set. One more week to go, then things would be finalized. Well, now that's not going to happen. Its amazing how, through this process, there have been so many times when I expected one thing to happen only to find things were changed for one reason or another.

This time it was her @%*-ing attorney. Seems like some emergency case popped up out of nowhere (as he said, "all hell broke loose in my practice") and so, right when we were all set to settle this thing, our court date is now going to be continued for another three weeks or so. He's not willing to let his associate finish up the case as he is currently working on his first draft of his amendment to the Agreement and he won't leave negotiations to his junior attorney. And then he is going on vacation. So, now we have to wait until sometime in September. ARRRRGHHH.

Stuff

So, it comes down to a list of stuff. After resolving custody, parenting plans, financials and the house, the remaining thing to work out is who gets what. Some of it is pretty easy - we both had a lot of stuff when we got married, so what was hers stays hers and what was mine stays mine. Except, of course, all of the stuff I used to have that she talked me into getting rid of . . .

However, the marital stuff is a little harder. It would be easy to simply say, "Go ahead and take what you want," but then I'd have to go and spend a ton of money replacing things I bought in the first place. There's also a lot of stuff that I really like, some with emotional attachments. If she had her way she would clean out the boys' rooms and take it all with her, and that's not fair to the boys.

So, back to the list of stuff. I actually started the list - went through each room and wrote down the major items in each room (furniture, rugs, etc.), then put it into a spreadsheet (yes - anal of me, but I thought it would be the clearest way to document the stuff). I set up four columns - what I had before the marriage, what I would keep that was marital, what was hers before the marriage, and what she would get that was marital. It was a short list just showing the big items figuring we could work out the smaller stuff. I e-mailed her the spreadsheet (as that is our best form of communication), and she sends it back the next day, only now its 3 pages long and itemizes pictures, toys and other knicknacks she wants to take. She also moved a number of things from my column to hers.

Funny thing then happened. When she e-mailed the list back to me, she copied her attorney. He then replied to Karen, saying "My quick review of the property list attached finds you with the vast majority of property acquired during the marriage; and it looks like you have taken most of the property in the boys' rooms. I can't tell how many items you have added vs. how many you have changed but it appears that the boys will have little left in their rooms." He went on to say, "It is going to be much better if Kriss has approved this list so I hope this is the result of you two working together." (Which, of course, it wasn't.) I only know what her attorney said because he obviously hit "Reply All" on his e-mail so I was directly copied on his response. Not sure whether he meant to do that or not, but it is a little odd for me to get an e-mail directly from her attorney.

She replied saying it was "her highest priority to reach an agreement as soon as possible." So, later that night, she and I sat down and went through the list. How utterly painful this was! One of the things she had added to the list was all of the window coverings - drapes and curtains - claiming she and her mother picked them out or bought the fabric from which custom curtains were made. I asked if she could at least let me keep them until the house is sold - she said "No way." We talked about wedding presents, furniture, the computer, the telephones. God it was awful. In the end, we both walked away giving in on a number of items but at least there is some sort of agreement in place.

Then, the next day, I got an e-mail from her asking if I wanted to buy some of her furniture. She said she's moving into a smaller place and thinks I may want some of her stuff to keep the house furnished and save me the trouble of buying new furniture - she then included a list of couches, chairs, etc. (all things she had owned from before we were married, but are now old and worn). Now, if I'm going to spend money on furniture, why would I want her old stuff? And why, after going through a painful discussion of who gets what, would she even think I might be interested in her old furniture? Well, that's not going to happen. I'd rather buy new furniture that is mine than have her old things around.

Oh yeah, and another thing, I'm also going to have to buy new window coverings, just to make the rooms look good when I have to sell the house. :-(

Remote Control

So now Leo knows the wonders of remote control vehicles! We were at Tighe's 3rd birthday (son of Jenn, a co-worker of mine) on Saturday and Tighe got a number of new remote control construction trucks. Leo watched him play with them for a while, then asked me if he could try. I told him to ask Tighe, who immediately said, "No, they're mine!" Tighe's daddy Al stepped in and got Tighe to agree to let Leo try one of the trucks - a front-end loader. Leo spent the next half hour running the truck back and forth and lifting the front scoop up and down. He was so absorbed he had tuned everything else out. Luckily he had already had his cake and we were finished with swimming. I got Leo to give it up when Tighe finally asked for the front-end loader back. Al joked that I now needed to stop at Toys R Us to get one for Leo.

So where did I find myself on Saturday night? Why, Toys R Us of course! Unfortunately, they were out of the front-end loaders, and the excavators they had looked really cheap so I ended up not buying one. But next weekend I'm going to head out to a different Toys R Us in search of the front-end loader.

Train

So, it was an easy commute to work this morning - gotta love the summertime. There were plenty of seats on the train so I was able to zone out with my iPod for the quick trip into Boston. Couldn't help thinking though that I only have 2 more weeks of train rides - then I'll have to drive. :-(

Its not that I mind driving, that will be fine - especially the days when I'll be taking Leo and Daniel to daycare and I can drive in the HOV lane! No, it will be the days when I have to drive by myself that I will dread. The traffic on the Southeast Expressway gets so bad sometimes where you end up just creeping along for almost half an hour just to get from the Braintree split to just past JFK. At least I'll have a parking space in the garage next to the building where I work - one of the perks of being an Associate. And I will no longer be tied to the train schedule. But I will miss the train. Some evenings, after a tough day at work, there's nothing better than simply sitting on the train instead of fighting traffic in the car. And this is all happening just when the new Greenbush commuter rail line is about to start!

Privacy

So, I changed my Myspace privacy setting today. Its not because of all of the friend requests I was getting from scantily clad women. Who accepts those anyway? Andy? No, I thought about what Kate mentioned over the weekend and decided I didn't really need the Myspace world to know what was going on in my life. (Or certain individuals lurking around . . .) So, now if you want to know, you've got to be my friend!

Chair

So, Daniel has been giving me a hard time putting him to bed for a while. I've been rocking him to sleep since he was a baby - then sitting in the chair in his room with him until he drifted off. A few months ago I finally got to a point where I could put him in his crib while he was still awake, but I had to stay in the room with him until he fell asleep. I had tried leaving the room, but since he learned to crawl out of his crib, that no longer worked because he would simply come out of his room looking for me.

I didn't mind sitting in his room while he drifted off to sleep. It gave me a chance to relax in the dark for a bit. I even fell asleep a few times when I was really tired. However, Daniel recently started taking longer and longer to fall asleep. On some nights I've had to sit there for almost 45 minutes. If I tried to get up before Daniel fell asleep, he would call out "Daddy, sit in the chair!" and I'd have to start all over again. It wouldn't have been so bad except on most nights I haven't had dinner yet so sometimes I wasn't eating until after 9pm.

Kate suggested I start moving the chair closer and closer to the door to start to break the habit. In order for this to work I would have had to completely rearrange the furniture in his room and that just wasn't going to happen. So, the other night, when it was clear it was going to be a long night in the chair, I simply carried the chair out of the room. Daniel, of course, cried and cried, but he finally settled down as I stood in the open doorway, and it wasn't another five minutes or so until he fell asleep.

The chair is still in my room. And for the past couple of nights I've been able to walk away from the open doorway while Daniel was still awake without him getting upset. It looks like I'm getting close to finally breaking the bad habit that I guess I started in the first place.

Tired

So, after quite a busy day yesterday, I crashed hard last night - only to have Daniel wake me up at 2am. I got Daniel back to sleep, but then I was awake. With all that has happened the last week, my mind started rolling through all sorts of options and scenarios and I couldn't shut it off. A couple of hours later I got up for a drink of water, lay back down, and was able to drift in and out for an hour or so - but not enough to feel refreshed.

Slogged through work but never got motivated to accomplish a lot (other than the top items on my 'to do' list). Had a studio lunch meeting so I didn't get to catch up on any of the hundred other miscellaneous things I've been trying to do during the lunch hour. Then had to stop at the grocery store on the way home since she doesn't do much shopping anymore (except for herself), only to find an empty house - they're probably at an indoor playground somewhere since it rained today. The good news - at least I don't have to wait until 9:00 to have dinner tonight!

I just have to remind myself, two and a half weeks to go, then I'll be able to try and make the other things work out. Not much I can really do 'til then.

Beach

So, had to get up everyone up and going extra early today thanks to our esteemed Assistant Organizer - whose idea it was to meet at the beach at 9am! We had to skip our weekly run to the dump (aka the 'Hingham Transfer Station') and I was so busy getting everything together I didn't have time to even think about coffee (thanks Mo!).

We ended up getting to Nantasket a little early - which was good so the kids got their swinging out of the way before heading down to the beach. The weather was perfect and so were all of our friends (adults and kids alike).

I can't think enough about how great this group is. Without even thinking twice, we all were helping each other out, watching each other's kids, and not worrying at all. I know being a single parent will have its challenges going forward, but with a group like this it seems to make everything a little easier to handle.

Tomorrow

So, after a day like yesterday, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow - friends, kids and animals in the morning followed up with a BBQ at the Cape in the evening. I can't wait!

Settlement

So how does one go about reaching a settlement? Especially when you know you are right? (But, doesn't everybody at least think they are right?) I guess that's one of my weaknesses - and something I'm working on. But when its the future of your children that are at stake, compromises must be made. I thought I had offered a good compromise a few months ago but she instead decided to go through with depositions. (No good ever comes out of this type of deposition, only more hurt and bitterness . . .) Then, when we had our pre-trial conference with the judge, I thought the judge's guidance was very clear - she thought otherwise. I could see that this thing could have gone on for months and months.

Today was supposed to be another deposition day - this time she and her attorney were going to depose the Guardian Ad Litem. The GAL Report was very favorable to my position, but left the door open for a compromise. I was faced with a decision early on today - should they just start with the deposition or could there first be a conference where we could talk about the contested issues. I have always supported every effort to reach an agreement so I chose to talk first. We decided to include the Guardian Ad Litem in our discussions for his guidance on issues dealing with the children.

The meeting went on for a while. Twice during the conference her attorney grandstanded and left the room with her. During the second break, when it was obvious that there was not going to be any movement on her part, I realized the future of our children was in my hands. I could have let the deposition begin and continued to fight for what I believed was right. But nobody would win in this scenario. If the judge ruled in my favor, she would forever be bitter, and we would never be able to effectively communicate about anything. If the judge ruled in her favor, she would blame me for dragging the case out spending thousands of needless dollars for an outcome she thought was right anyway. My attorney thought the case would have been 50-50 if it went to trial before the judge.

So, with the children's lives in my hands, I made a decision which I hope makes all of our lives reasonable. My attorney supported the decision and we then continued the conference with her and her attorney to go through all of the other contested issues. A few were not easily resolved but we at least created a path to settlement.

I don't think she will ever realize how important today's decision was.

I will be sad to lose a neighbor whose friendship I've come to value in a short period of time (but I won't be too far away) and I'll be glad to gain a new neighbor whose friendship, I hope, won't get spoiled by my bugging him all of the time.

Blocked

So I got into work early this morning and checked my personal e-mail account. There was an e-mail saying I had received a Myspace message but when I clicked on it I got a new screen with an error message saying "Web Server Too Busy". Seemed odd to me since hardly anybody else was in the office yet, so I did a little digging. Turns out, Myspace is blocked at work. Facebook too. Didn't spend any more time looking around to see what other sites were blocked but I'm sure it includes all of the social networking sites. Guess they don't want us using our work computers to satisfy our Myspace needs!

.mp3

So over the weekend I heard this new song - hadn't really heard anything new in a while but I had been filling my iPod with mp3 files downloaded from allofmp3.com. So, I tried to go there this weekend and found the site was shutdown. Didn't take long to find an article about it. Since it was run by the Russians, they were trying to bypass US copyright laws. The article said the site was shut down in the interest of international trade agreements. What pissed me off was I still had about $20 in the 'bank' there!

Well, later I found the website had been re-formed as mp3sparks.com - it has the same layout and everything, just a different background color. I e-mailed them to find out if I could transfer my $20 from allofmp3.com - their reply was "Unfortunately, we cannot do that." So, I went out and bought the CD at a store. I'm not giving the Russians any more of my money.

Oh, and the song? "Under the Influence" by James Morrison.

Lame

OK, So I'm lame. Finally getting around to doing this blogging thing - long after everyone else is here. For those who might be interested, I'll let you know some things that are going on in my life, and I'll keep adding pictures along the way. Happy reading! KP